New beginnings

As I've already kinda sorta mentioned, this summer is a time of new beginnings for Elisa and me. We're working on several key areas (potty training, giving up her milk bottles and getting a new bed) and on top of that, she'll be starting preschool in July. The nice thing about all of these transitions is that we have time before the baby comes in August to settle into some new patterns which makes me feel like I'm giving Elisa that last little push towards three with my full attention. And Lord knows, she loves all the attention she can get.

So earlier this week, I went to the parent orientation for her preschool class. It was a child-free hour and a half of information about the school's philosophies (a combination of Montessori, Reggio Emilia and Waldorf) with a strong emphasis on emergent curriculum. To the uninitiated, that's a fancy pants way of saying the kids lead the activities and they get lots of hands on, messy time to explore and really spark their creativity. Seeing how excited and animated the director was just talking about it, made me feel great about this choice. She loves what she does and it really shows. And I know Elisa is going to love that kind of school too. I actually can't wait to hear all about it from her perspective. She's such a raconteur these days, though admittedly not always the most truthful, but still amusing. So yeah, I'm pretty sure she's going to come home from school with all kinds of things to show and tell me about. And although I don't think she'll have much trouble with the transition to being away from me, I do think it will be a new chapter for both of us. Apart from a few early caregivers and the occasional evening with a babysitter, Elisa really hasn't been away from me for much time at all. Certainly not in the last year and a half. And while part of me has cherished the chance to be with her, it's also been a real challenge to treat each day with new enthusiasm when they can all start to feel the same. Being at home with her has forged a strong bond and one that I know will serve us both well as we figure out what comes next. So rather than nervously dread the first morning at school, I'm actually looking forward to carving out some time for myself--however briefly--before this new baby arrives, and to seeing Elisa hit her stride in a new environment with new people to relate to. I'm excited for her, but also for myself to see her develop and interact with teachers and other students in ways I can't predict. What will Elisa the girl be like? Will I be shocked to hear how they perceive her? She is almost three and I'm finally ready to turn her loose. I think it's a sign that we're both growing up. And I'm hoping that as she starts to have more of a life outside of home and the world I've created for her, we will find a new spark in our mother-daughter relationship. As I've taken to calling her, she's my "big girl" now and there's no going back.