Calming down

This should be a post about how we've managed to enjoy a few fair weather outings in the past week, but instead I'm feeling tired and beat up tonight. Some nights it's all I can do not to count the minutes til bedtime and pray it comes fast. Nacho has had a run of work, work, work with three days gone, one night home and another three days gone, so I'm feeling in the thick of it. On paper, today should have been a good day: we slept in til almost 8 a.m., went to the playgroup at St. Teresa's, had lunch, a good two hour nap and the afternoon was starting off fine. The signs were all pointing to an easy end of the day.

(Enjoying a break in the rain on Friday and having the run of the park because of it)

(Finally making it back to Sunnyside Gardens Park on Sunday in the sunshine after a loooong winter)

But taking a little walk up to the store, things started to turn, and damn it if it wasn't the ice cream man's fault. Yes, the first appearance of the ice cream truck on our block and wouldn't you know it, Elisa was not happy just walking past. Last summer we paid no attention to these trucks and Elisa was completely clueless about the goodies on offer. But today's warmer temps (high near 60 degrees) meant that the season of treats has begun again and apparently Elisa is not taking no for an answer. Except that she had to. We made it further up the block and she seemed to come around to the idea that it wasn't happening tonight. Then we hit the store and all hell broke loose. One little thing set her off and we ended up with a total slugfest, namely her pummeling my face as she tried to run away. And this is when I wished I'd brought the stroller. So how to extract a child and my groceries from the store and get home three blocks away while she's a raving lunatic? Oh and in the midst of this, she hits herself in the face with a maraca (which doubled as her microphone on the way to the store--don't ask) which really pissed her off. I did my best to slow down and get her out of the way to calm down, but it wasn't easy. By the time she started chanting, "I wanna go home. I wanna go home..." I was pulling her out of the store and down the block. And then we rounded the corner and that fucking truck was still there. And just like that, the ice cream craziness started again with a renewed vigor. And now, Elisa was on the ground rolling around on the rainy, filthy pavement screaming. A highlight in parenting to be sure. Of course, I realized I had no way to end this but to power through and that's just what I did scooping her up and carrying her sideways across the street--all flailing arms and legs--and into our building. And then I let her go. Just get away, I thought. I was so, so done. She ran after me and once in the house, she spent a good five minutes decompressing in her bed before I could approach her and talk some of this out. And boy, did we talk. She narrated the whole thing ("I hit and scream") and I asked her why she was so mad. And without giving me much in the way of an answer, she definitely seemed to be thinking about it. So we spent the last hour of the day sitting on the couch together playing out scenarios and hugging. Ahhhhh, this girl. Such a study in contrasts. And when I heard her telling me to "calm down", a first, I figured something good might have come from this episode today. In the midst of everything, she heard me saying that. And that's a start.

Salute!

In another life, Nacho and I used to read restaurant reviews and plan trips to visit places around the city based on them. And once upon a time, we read about a little enclave of Uzbeki/Bukharian Jewish restaurants in Rego Park that sounded divine. That was 2006. It's now been five years *gasp* and we finally managed to get out there today which was perfect because the midweek crowd was light and Elisa was in rare dining form. And before I go any further, I must admit that our friends Micki and Harley were also instrumental in getting us out on this fine cold day because they went to Salute a month ago and highly recommended it. So off we went to 108th Street in Queens with a taste for the unknown...First up, the "national bread" also known as a tandoori bread that was doughy and wonderful and HOT.

We also opted for the pelmeni soup which had meaty little dumplings and lots of parsley. Very soothing and Elisa couldn't stop slurping it down once it had cooled off, naturally.
See what I mean...the girl was into her food today. And her servers who were two lovely women that kept admiring her and tousling her hair.
The plate of hummus was delicious especially slathered on that fresh bread. Mmmmmm.

Here's a last picture of Nacho's lamb kebab skewer. He was in heaven and said it was the best lamb he's had in NYC. And that's saying a lot. Very natural flavor and much like how it is prepared in Spain.

Not pictured, my boneless chicken kebab--not my favorite--or the parsley garlic fries which were fabulous. My kebab was thigh meat I think, which should be fine, but I like my meat a bit leaner and this was kind of rubbery and I couldn't get past the gristle. Oh well. Everything else was great and next time, I will go for a meat pie or another type of kebab or maybe one of the many salads. Yes, I think we'll be back. Especially if Elisa keeps up her table manners. She didn't try to climb out of the high chair once and she actually seemed engrossed in the procession of food and tried things. Amazing. I don't expect it to be this way every time, but it was so enjoyable to dine with her today. It gives me a glimpse of our future and the reinforcement that sometimes you just have to try something new. Maybe I'll start reading those reviews again. We do have a few more months of enjoying our "table for three" status before all hell breaks loose.

The Crouptastic Weekend Roundup

What was I just saying about the unpredictability of life? I was finishing up a relaxing evening eating takeout and watching Top Chef All-Stars on Wednesday night when I started winding down for bed. It was about 11:15 p.m. and I suddenly heard Elisa crying out and coughing. As I opened the door and peered into the darkness, I knew immediately something was wrong. She was sobbing and trying to talk, but all I could hear was the wheezing and gasping of croup. Oh yes, here we go again. It was exactly a year ago this weekend that she came down with croup for the first time. It was scary and caught me off guard not only because it sounds like she can't breathe, but also because of the speed with which it developed, seemingly in a matter of hours. But this time, I suppose we had some forewarning of a cough and cold and maybe eye infection that seemed to drag on for a few days beforehand. But still, hearing her in distress and knowing that we had a long night ahead of us was no fun. The steam shower routine helped for a while and after I tried to return her to her bed with no luck, I realized that this might be a good occasion to break the rules and let her sleep with me. Nacho was working for the next two nights, so Elisa took over his pillow and seemed giddy at the thought of sleeping in our bed. At nearly 12:30 a.m. I had a little girl lurking over my face saying, "Did somebody say bananas??" (For fans of The Fresh Beat Band, this will sound familiar). After a few more hours of tossing and turning, crying out and falling back asleep, we had made it. With the daylight, she was already acting better and I took her into the city to get checked out just as a precaution. All clear. Just croup. So we rested up at home the rest of the day and the next night was much improved. Still coughing and waking a lot, but by the time Nacho came home the following morning, she was definitely on the mend. The high temperature in the 60s meant we were definitely getting out of the apartment that day, so we headed into the city Friday afternoon and had a great time wandering around. The streets were overflowing with people all eager to embrace a little bit of spring come early. Here she is chowing down on some pasta at Otto near Washington Square Park.

And of course, gelato for dessert was a given. Elisa picked the hazelnut stracciatella and told us to back off--it was all hers. I think this face was because Nacho tried to swipe some. She was all business. The good mood and eating made me think this croup stuff was on the way out and it probably was. But with the weather taking a bitter turn on Saturday, we were back to hunkering down inside and listening to Elisa cough her head off every time she laid down. A few more nights of this and it seems to be leaving us, but man, it couldn't happen fast enough. Just a few nights of constant interruptions and I am already beat. Not a good sign of things to come in August, but hey, we'll survive that too. If nothing else, this makes me appreciate all the good nights we have now that Elisa is two and a half and how much more confident I feel as the mom of a sick kid. It was still no fun to deal with, but at least croup didn't knock me completely off my guard this time around. They say kids outgrow it around 3 or so, which means I'm hoping next February we can take that weekend off. We'll see.

Staying in the moment

I've said it before and I'll say it again, parenting keeps you in the moment. Sometimes frustratingly so when all you want to do is have a minute to relax and breathe and let down your guard. As Elisa has gotten older and past the fussy baby and crawling disaster stages, it was sometimes easy to think my life was becoming my own again--that I didn't have to be ready at all times for whatever she would throw at me. But the truth is, I don't think it ever really stops. Part of parenting, for me at least, is knowing that I'm on call 24/7, and accepting that I'm lucky enough to be the one she cries out for to fix the booboos and to make her feel safe. It means that even though she sleeps through the night, takes a good nap in the afternoon and generally communicates what she wants these days, I'm still never really sure what's coming next. Most days this means I'm entertained with a slew of songs and antics that make me shake my head and laugh. Elisa is always surprising me with her humor and love of dancing and singing. But sometimes it also means being prepared for the truly crazy stuff.

Case in point...today as I was sitting at the desk reading, Elisa wandered over and said she had a booger for me. Nothing new there. I get handed boogers on a regular basis and my normal m.o. is to reach out, grab the offending crunchy bit and wipe it off on a tissue. Problem solved. But not today. No, today as I was reaching up to wipe her hand with mine, I looked down and realized something was wrong. This was one nasty booger. And it was green. And it looked suspiciously like guacamole. But we hadn't had our leftover Mexican food yet for lunch, so where did this come from? And then I got a whiff. Oh, no. This wasn't a "booger" as she had described. About the time my mind clicked, I saw Elisa reaching around her waist and digging in her pants for something. Oh yes. This was a fingerful of shit. Niiiice. It was at that moment that I realized what she'd done and actually said out loud, "Oh, honey, this isn't a booger. You've pooped!" As I tried to keep her hands out of her diaper, I swooped her up to run to the changing table to see where this had migrated. Fortunately, it hadn't gone far, and after carefully inspecting the living room, I think she must have been standing up when this all went down. But man, what a way to go from calm and composed to elbow-deep in shit in 30 seconds. Yep, that's my life. Thinking on the go and ready for whatever shit comes my way.

My sweet Valentine

Today marks the one year anniversary of the photo-a-day blog I started with my friend Maggie called Everyday Snapshots. When she first proposed the idea, I thought it sounded like a fun challenge and a good way to test my new camera and my skills as an amateur photographer. Photography is something I've been passionate about since the days in high school I spent hiding out in the dark room, taking hours and hours to perfect my developing and printing techniques. I also had a new life to document as a stay at home mom and a little girl who was learning every day to enjoy the world, and especially our city, with more and more enthusiasm. We traveled the country and played at home. We took music classes and ran around outside. And all of this was documented through the photo blog. Every single day. Many times I found that just trying to imagine the "photo of the day" was a way of seeing things differently--boiling the day down to its most elemental parts. And now a year later, I'm really proud of the work that went into that creation.

It reminds me of a popular phrase of parenting that says "The days are long, but the years are short." Each day was a challenge and some days I was so tired and spent that I didn't care what photo went up. But just showing up was a triumph in a way. It kept things moving forward. And like being a stay at home mom with no days off, no vacation, and no sick days, sometimes just showing up is the hardest part. Keeping the momentum going can be so draining and yet, that's the thing that rewards me most--seeing the days add up to years, counting the new phrases and expressions learned, and trusting that tomorrow will bring even more adventures.

Happy Valentine's Day

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Little Star

I used to think that if kids could just be born at 12 months, life would be a lot easier. And more fun. And in a way, I still think that. But sometimes, when I see the nutty little girl Elisa has become, I'm glad I saw it all from Day 1. That way, at least, I know she wasn't alien spawn. Nope. She's all ours. All that razza-ma-tazz...all that sass. She told Nacho yesterday that the music was "too loud" and she couldn't hear him. (And she was right). After a particularly robust tussle with Papa, she said "that was close!" which prompted many laughs. She also spent the better part of the day singing songs she made up on the spot. For a while, we took turns singing a line about whatever we were doing/thinking and she seemed very pleased by my ad lib skills. But by far, her lines were the best. Here she is with Grandma in the kitchen on Sunday night getting ready for the Superbowl chilifest...

It's not hard to see all that personality come through even in her photos. When I joke about having another Leo, I really wonder how different her sibling will be because two natural entertainers vying for attention from the same people seems like a disaster waiting to happen. But I guess we'll see. If we can convince Elisa she's starring in the role of Big Sister perhaps we can make that feel like a choicer role. Am I becoming a director now? Is that how I should approach my life? Do we get multiple takes to get things right? Hmmm...lots to think about, but right now my little star is definitely shining bright.

Another week, another visit

I'm having a bit of deja vu this week, not only because of pregnancy-related issues, but because exactly one year ago we returned from a week long trip to Spain and my mom came to NYC for a visit. Only this year, she brought dad along. So we woke up on our first day back to both grandparents arriving for a long weekend and it was the perfect way to snap back into things. Elisa wasn't fazed in the slightest with her visitors and she adjusted to the jet lag beautifully. The first morning back she woke around 6 a.m. and by the second day we were closer to our normal 7 a.m. wake up. That's more like it. I think some of my nausea and fatigue has been creeping away just like it came 9 weeks ago, so that was another welcome change. The chance to have some grandma/grandpa time during this long, snowy winter couldn't have come at a better time. Here's Elisa cooking for Grandma...

And enjoying some "coco-latte" all over her face and hands...

But still, she manages to look nonchalant...

Of course, Grandma had to step in and wipe that face clean...

Here's our girl in full-out sword fighting action mode...

And making up with Grandpa after all that swashbuckling...

I wish I had more photos of our wonderful meals together or our jaunts into the city. But things were so mellow and easy going that I barely took the camera out. It was nice to just regroup and spend some time with them both in our home. Elisa can really put on a show in her own environment and I think with all that she's doing and saying these days, mom and dad both really enjoyed their time with us. I know I did. Now we have to find some time this spring for a little trip to North Carolina. With the temps down there averaging 20-30 degrees warmer than here, I doubt it will be long before we're heading down.

Leo times two

It's official...we've made another one. Yes, baby #2 is peeking at you below. Nice profile at 14 weeks, huh?

Of course, I've been thinking about this post for a while now. At the beginning of December we found out we were expecting again and it felt oddly shocking. Like, how did this happen? November was a busy month with lots of travel to Kansas City and California and Nacho was only with us for a fraction of that trip. But somewhere between there and our return home at the end of the month, we struck babymaking gold. Just when we were taking a month off, so to speak. I mean, I had really resigned myself to the idea that we weren't going to be together at the "right" time that month. And in fact, I had told my sister that I suppose it was a good thing we wouldn't be getting another August baby. I guess that shows how much I know. Not to say that we weren't very happy to get the good news. But just like with everything in parenthood, it's when you think you are in control and have everything nailed down that you realize your humility. Nothing is really planned or in your power to control. Go with it. Another August baby? Why not? So now we are looking at the year ahead with a renewed sense of expectation and excitement. And yes, trepidation. Somehow I can't help but think it's never going to get easier than it is now. One kid...reasonably good sleep...enjoying life again without total chaos. Am I ready for a crazy newborn again? I guess we'll see. With a due date revised to fall around August 4, 2011, I suppose I have a few more months to ponder that. Here we go!

EDITED TO ADD: Does that look like a little nub on the second pic? I didn't notice this at all during the scan, but now I'm obsessed. All gender predictions welcome! We have another 6 weeks before we know.