I'm the sucker

Weekend away

It always sounds so easy. Let's just go some place for a few days, see a few sights, have some good food and come home. And when there are friends or family to visit on top of that, it's kind of a no brainer. Pre-baby, I was all about travel, especially given our flight benefits and the idea that any city was just a skip and a hop away. We could spend a weekend in Maine, jet to Aruba for two nights, and I flew to DC once just to have dinner with Nacho. But the reality of travel with a toddler is so much harder. There is still all the chaos and stress of packing and getting there and then there is the insanely stupid idea of standby with a kid. But sometimes, I forget all that and I get jazzed about where I'm going and we hit the ground with all kinds of energy and enthusiasm for the new place. In Chicago, this was definitely the case. Even the 30 minute wait at the rental car counter didn't deter me. I was up and ready for action. And the first day was good. We managed to give Elisa a cat nap in the car on the way into the city, and later, she slept a wink before we made it to dinner. Two cat naps is better than no nap, I quickly found out. The manager of Demera, the Ethiopian restaurant where we had dinner the first night, even complimented us on Elisa's great demeanor. I was feeling very satisfied with my mom-on-the-go skills.

By Day 2, we were off to hike around the city and take in Millennium Park with its whimsical sculptures, fountains and pavilion after a delicious brunch at E.Leaven bakery. Elisa was a little goosey at the restaurant, shouting "goodbye monkey!" to the gorilla photo on the wall as we pulled her out of there. But all in all, I felt good about the day. We jumped and danced around the Cloud Gate dome, listened to a lunchtime concert at the park and even splashed in the Crown Fountains awhile. It was all a lot of fun and Elisa was getting some exercise and we got to enjoy a cool part of downtown. A win-win. She even passed out in her stroller on the way to meet friends for lunch at a bar where they were showing the Spain v. Honduras game. I couldn't have asked for anything more. Elisa was really stepping up to the plate. The nap didn't last more than 40 minutes, but it was at least a bit of a recharge for our traveling girl. I try not to stress or fret about these things when we are out and about, but the reality is that at home, she has the luxury of multi-hour naps in the comfort of her quiet room. And she likes that. She really, really likes that because it's not easy to get her to sleep elsewhere. Just the fact that she passed out in the car and in the stroller is a sign of how incredibly tired the poor girl was. It was building up and I knew it, but when you are traveling there isn't much time to stop the world for her to get off. It just keeps on moving.

So I kept plowing ahead, taking her for a dip in Lake Michigan before going to dinner with friends at a beer garden. It should have helped that there were two other little girls--Ellie (5) and her sister Olivia (2.5)--joining us who were more than accommodating with their toys and snacks. But Elisa was starting to hit bottom and her constant crying and moody tantrums were really beginning to annoy me. It's hard to enjoy yourself when none of your tricks are working and your kid is being a complete and total drain on the evening. But that's where I was at. Of course it had to get worse before it got better, so there was a new low point before bedtime where Elisa basically scratched and clawed her way out of my arms, thrashing and screaming all the way. If I had been watching this unfold, I might have thought there were electric shocks involved. It was pretty awesome. But alas, she finally caved to the bottle and burp rag routine and hit the pack-n-play with nary a whimper. She was out fast.

The next morning at brunch should have been a breeze, but in fact, Elisa's sleep had been so segmented between outbursts of crying that it was a tired morning after all. I so wanted her to snap out of it and just transform into the sociable, happy girl I love, but it wasn't to be. I had to take her out of the restaurant once for her continued screaming fit. She kind of understands those time outs, but I find it hard to get her completely back to normal when that usually means sticking her back in a chair she doesn't want to sit in and trying to remove the distractions she was fixated on in the first place (in this case, my iced coffee). It's like a torturous loop that I don't know how to break sometimes, and I'm afraid there were moments this weekend that it broke me. She fell asleep on our way to visit Maggie, so I arrived with a somewhat more rested girl. But still as the day wore on, she was having a harder time letting go of her anger at a shared toy or having to do what I needed her to do. It wasn't until that evening when I put her to bed by 7:30 p.m. that I thought we might be back on track. Elisa didn't go down without a fight and she still whimpered a bit all night long, but she stayed down for 13 hours. It was definitely a much needed marathon of sleep. And as she has done before, she wanted to nap only 3 hours after waking for another 2 hours. The magic of sleep was beginning to take hold. I know that no toddler can go without appropriate amounts of rest and that Elisa held on as long as she could. But as this weekend trip proved once again, she is definitely not a kid that can thrive on activities. She needs a good balance of rest and fun in her little world and as the gatekeeper of that, I have to respect her needs. So each time I felt myself boiling over at her behavior, I just had to tell myself that this is all part of her age and we will get past it. But somehow, it feels so deceptive the way she can seem so happy and then turn on a dime and become the devil spawn. As Nacho put it, there is no in between with this girl. And I suppose that travel only heightens this issue, but oy, I'm ready to chill out at home.

Back to the Land of Nod

So far this visit to Chicago has had a little bit of everything: sightseeing, good eating, walking around, and most importantly visiting with friends. After a couple of nights in the city, we ventured out to a western suburb called Downer's Grove which is where my friend and fellow blogger Maggie lives. Maggie has two adorable kids, Anna (3) and Abe (1), and she's definitely a window into the world of having two. It's fun to hear how much Anna talks and tells stories and asks questions and generally wants you to engage with her. She is a sweet girl with a penchant for serious chats and she loves all things fruity as much as Elisa. Abe, on the other hand, is a knock-em-down boy's boy who just got the hang of walking but you'd never know it, and he's all smiles when he's got a full plate and something to kick. The kid lights up when he sees his sister and he loves chasing her around the house. With two girls bouncing around this weekend, I think Abe was beside himself with excitement. Fortunately for everyone, Elisa made good on her promise (okay, my dream) of sleeping in and got back on track this morning with a good 13 hour night and another 2 hour nap around noon. It was well worth waiting for considering that she had missed days' worth of naps and wasn't getting the real solid shuteye at night that she's used to. Plus, I have to say it's always an adjustment getting her used to a new environment, but I think being around other kids helped get that back on track. At least from the way they all played together, you could see they were wearing each other down. Our plan worked! And now we exhausted parents are off to bed ourselves! Good night.

Chicagoland

This will be a quick post just to say that we made it to Chicago as planned on Thursday morning. We didn't think the flights looked good for standby but there's always a chance, especially if you go early. After all the stress of last minute packing and shuffling off to the airport, it was so nice to hear them say we had seats. Yay! So Nacho joined us for the first two days and we've been dragging Elisa over hill and dale, catching up with good friends and eating way too much. We visited Rick Bayless's restaurant Xoco for its take on Mexican street food, and this morning I had an amazing brunch at Southport Grocery and Cafe. And we've been watching lots of soccer. Go Spain! Go USA! Unfortunately, this trip seemed to coincide with a little onset of sniffles for the girl, so she hasn't been sleeping well at all. And the napping on the go thing has never been her strong suit, so you can imagine how well she's been adapting to things. Um...yeah. But tonight we're hanging out with Maggie and her family so we're putting the kids to bed early and hoping for the best. Here's to enjoying the last day in Chicago and seeing how well we can do on the flight back. Ah, the adventure of travel...More photos coming soon!!

1-2-3

What's fun on a hot day at the park?
First you fill the bucket up...

Then you look inside...
And finally, you pour. Then repeat 100 times.

At 22 months, it is amazing to see how Elisa finally makes connections between cause and effect. Not all the time, mind you, but it's becoming a bit more normal for her to want to do things that involve multiple steps or have some kind of pay-off at the end. If I could bottle up her delight with herself, it would be a potent formula. Even in just the past month since we joined the local park, her confidence on the equipment and her ability to scale the small ladders and slides is soaring. She loves the climb/sit/slide combo way more than I ever imagined she would. On a good day, she can do a loop for 20 minutes or so without ever stopping, and nearly every time she yells "weeeeeee!" as she pushes off on the slide. When I think about how she was as a baby and how she explored the whole environment with her mouth, I can see its translation into toddlerhood: now she explores with her whole body. The difference between last summer and this one is everything. She's using more words for her actions too saying up, down, sit, help, and wee (for the swing) and many times she will say "momma sit" or "there momma" when she wants me to do something. And yes, she's very into control at the moment which is loads of fun. I try to give her an inch, but you know how that goes...So most days we just try to find a middle ground. Elisa gets to do some things all by herself (holding a sucker all by herself yesterday) and momma gets to do the rest without her help (putting the clothes in the dryer so they don't ALL fall on the ground). And before I forget, she has finally started to use a name for herself when I ask her what it is. "Isa." Sounds good to me.

Pool perfect

It's hard to beat a refreshing dip in the pool on a hot summer day. Yesterday afternoon we joined Juliet and her mom Kristin for a little splash as the sun began to set. These girls have been in swim classes together for the past two months and I think it's beginning to pay off. After a few minutes acclimating to the water, Juliet was eager to practice her jumping skills. She lunged and leapt and made it look fun and easy. Elisa took the bait and before long, she was attempting her jumping in moves as well, each time squealing with delight.

We finally pulled them out of the water long enough to enjoy a post-swim snack in the last rays of the day. It was a great feeling to be sitting there with my girl, showing her what summer is all about. I remember so many days spent at the local pool in my neighborhood. There was always something so exhausting and yet exhilarating about living in the water like that. And the hunger you can work up splashing around is unlike any other. Snacks never tasted so good. I hope Elisa feels the same way, but I'm pretty sure from the way she ate all the way home that she does.

Adventures in Fatherhood

Last week, Nacho traveled to Louisville, KY for a few days of ground school as a part of his required training at work. This usually means sitting in a classroom all day, watching some videos and generally being bored out of his mind while they prep for quizzes and go over the same materials again and again. But this time around, he (and the rest of the trainees) were welcomed by some other pilots based in Louisville with a barbecue, and another co-worker who grew up there offered to take him out for a taco lunch and maybe a ride in his father's plane later in the week. I was starting to feel better that maybe it would be an enjoyable time for him after all. Little did I know that he was actually having a blast.

The airplane in question is a two seater, spin-tastic ride which apparently sounds like a lot of fun when you love flying. I, in fact, do not love flying. And as much as I have grown accustomed to commercial flights and love traveling in a broader sense, this does not inspire great confidence in small, general aviation planes. So I begged Nacho to be careful and listened intently to him talk about the flight when he called to tell me he was back on the ground. But when he returned home on Friday night and showed me photos of the flight, I was in awe. The rolling green fields and river did look amazing from up there. I still wasn't too pleased as he described how hard it was to see anything from the back seat as he attempted to land it himself. But I will concede that he likes a challenge (he did marry me after all!). And when he protested, I tried to tell him that it wasn't his judgement I questioned as much as it was the fact that I worry about his safety because I love him. Maybe it's just something in my mothering DNA that wants to make decisions based on safety and measures my own enjoyment of activities in proportion to the risks they incur for myself and my family. Is this inherently different for fathers? Should it be? I guess I can question this all I want, but the fact is that I wouldn't have it any other way. While I pack up the snacks, pour the milk and apply the sunscreen, Nacho is busy tossing Elisa in the air, racing her down the ramp in the stroller and dashing through the crosswalk on a blinking light. It's the yin and the yang of parenthood, so I guess I should lighten up.

Happy Father's Day!

What a long way we've come. I couldn't have done it without you. Love you.

Saturday in the park

Sometimes we make up our plans on the fly. Like today. We jumped on the train into Manhattan and within about 10 minutes we decided where we were actually headed. It had been a while since we wandered through the park, so we opted for the lush greenery that only CP can provide this time of year. Of course, it was a gorgeous day so there were plenty of folks with the same idea. Sheep Meadow was overflowing with blankets and bodies littered throughout. We opted instead for a walk down our favorite tree sheltered lane on our way to the Great Lawn. Elisa got out and enjoyed some Frenchy accordion music for a little while.

On our way toward Hell's Kitchen for dinner, we wandered through the West Side and its amazing brownstones. Elisa was babbling to herself and doing some kind of arm thing that looked like she was still practicing her swim strokes from this morning. Later, as we neared Columbus Circle, we bumped into some friends who live in the neighborhood. Yes, New York City really is that small. Just when you think you are alone in the big bad metropolis, you know someone and there they are. It's a nice way to catch up and sometimes the only way to get a few minutes without the kids running around (while they are dutifully strapped into strollers!). We made it to Island Burgers just in time for a quick bite before heading back to Queens for bedtime. I would love to say that Elisa hung in there and did great throughout the meal, but I'm afraid tonight was just not her night. She woke freakishly early today so I guess I should have known better than to stay out for a late meal, but sometimes you just have to give it a try. And at worst, I had to practice my charm with a chocolate milkshake in one hand and a bottle and burp rag ready in the next. She was pooped. All that running around will wear a girl out.

June again

Then:

Now:

Today our routine changed. Just as I was getting into the two-parks-a-day thing, I rounded the corner to the local playground at 9:30 a.m. and found it overrun with big kids. Yep. School was on hiatus and will soon be out for the summer anyway. I think the quiet mornings with Elisa running around almost alone on the equipment are over. Oh well. It was nice while it lasted. And really, we have a lot of traveling and things to look forward to coming up, so I guess it's good that we don't get too comfortable in any routine. I bought our plane tickets for Spain this week (finally!) so we're officially leaving late July and returning about 5 weeks later at the end of August. This would not have been possible if I was still working. Ah, yes, June again. Last June I was knee deep in office politics, trying to take a break to visit my ailing grandmothers and debating how I could find a new apartment in our neighborhood that fit all my qualifications (and budget). It was a busy time and I wasn't always coping well with the stresses of life. When I look back, I realize that I didn't enjoy all the parts of my life to the fullest. I regret that. But maybe it's part of the working mother's dilemma that if you have the money, you don't have the time. And I realize that for me, for now, time is my greatest commodity. I spend all day every day with my daughter. I put her to bed, and I get her when she wakes up. I don't pay someone else to be with her, to comfort her and to make sure she is eating and playing and getting to nap as much (or as little) as she needs. And even though it won't pay for our trip to Spain this summer, my job is now to orchestrate our biggest family adventure to date. It's a challenge I'm up for and one I plan to nail.

The good ol' days

I didn't have a cell phone until I was 28. I first used a touch screen device when I was 34. My daughter is not even 2 and she's used to both already. What does the future hold for her? I think about this sometimes when I see her fascination with our iPods, cameras, phones and on-demand cable TV. It's crazy to me that this is all part of her life already and she has no idea what it's like to be without it. And I could say, well, whose fault is that, and blame myself for exposing her to all this madness. But really, I think it's almost impossible to keep her from it. And I'm not even sure I would want her to grow up in technological isolation without becoming comfortable with these things. But the part of me that never rushes to new technology and is slow to embrace the trends is wondering when she will surpass me. I'll give her another year.

Afternoons in the nabe

Lately I find myself spending a lot of time outdoors whether at the park or strolling through the city. It's such a far cry from my life a year ago that I can't help but feel a sense of delight at every opportunity to run outside and play. It really feels like I'm getting a break as much as Elisa is sometimes. We've found our groove during the week with mornings at the local playground and afternoons at Sunnyside Gardens park. It's a routine that I can imagine keeping well into the fall. With friends to help pass the time, why not?

I love updating our playgroup photos from time to time and being able to really see the changes that all these kids are making. And I hope the kids too will look back on these photos one day and think this is when it all started. These are little friendships budding and in another year we'll see them talking and telling us all about it. For now, we can only imagine the running commentary.