Feeding frenzy

It seems like one of the first questions I get these days is about how well Elisa is doing with her feedings. Whether at the doctor's office or getting emails from friends who've been there before, I am constantly being asked about her nursing habits, whether I'm breastfeeding and/or supplementing her, and how she's pooping/peeing. Considering this is my first time as a human milk machine, I'd say things are going pretty well. In fact, my breasts haven't been nearly as sore as I anticipated after those first few days passed and I'm finding that the little animal I gave birth to is a hungry girl...most of the time.

Elisa's favorite way to wake up is to squeak a few times, barely crying out enough to get noticed. Then she begins rooting around, smacking her mouth on anything that resembles a fleshy surface (elbows are nice) and generally trying to impress upon us that she is, indeed, starving. However, within minutes of sucking, she is usually knackered enough to need prodding and poking to keep on track. Mom has become the Burp Queen helping move the gas and air out of her tummy, while I favor the hands-off approach of letting Elisa lie on the couch for a few minutes--just enough for her to wake up and realize there is more food to be had. The wet washcloth to the face also works wonders, though I find she's not as annoyed with that lately...must think of new tricks.

Since we've been carefully monitoring her weigh-ins with the pediatricians (thanks to their overzealous 48 hour check approach), I know she's already gained back a good part of what she lost since birth. On Friday she was still down 2 ounces, though, which means we try again on Tuesday to bring her back up (and hopefully OVER) her birth weight of 7 lbs. 7.5 ounces. In the meantime, I'm pretty sure that she's getting plenty of sustenance since we're changing her twice every feeding it seems with lots of seedy, curd-laden diapers. The appearance of the "O-Face" (with her terse little mouth--not the other kind) during a feeding is a sure sign that the bowels are moving and the hunched shoulders and blowout will follow. Seeing how these little signals are already forming and she is telling us with her 2 burps and the hiccups that she's nearly full is an amazing feat after only 2 weeks. There is so much to decipher, of course, but still it's cool to find that she has lots of non-verbal cues for the reading. Now if we can only get her days and nights sorted out in the next few weeks, we can maybe master the feedings and the sleeping. Wouldn't that be nice.

Vampire baby

Despite being an adorable baby, Elisa is, I'm pretty sure, a vampire. She loves to feed every 3-4 hours all day long, sleeping good stretches and going right back to La-La Land. But by 11pm, something switches in her and the little vampire emerges. She takes her late night feeding and then springs into action, burping, hiccuping and generally fussing about until she's ready for the next feeding. Nacho has been pulling this duty the past two nights, with moderate success getting her to quiet down, while mom takes the hand-off around 5am to get her through the mid-morning.

I've been lucky enough to sleep on and off during this twilight time, but I can't help but notice the life-sucking energy of a newborn. It takes three of us to keep up with her and try to get some rest on this cycle. And again, I'm amazed at how Elisa just lulls us all into her little world where time seems meaningless. Our meals seem to just come and go without fanfare, while we all mark exactly when she is eating (for how long and which boob) and pooping (how wet or how solid) with a kind of precision I never even had for my job. The benefit of all this topsy turvy living is that you feel totally absorbed in her new life. And when she smiles, even the twitchy little grin of a well-fed baby, you can't help but feel like she loves you for everything you've done. Which must be why I'm happy to wake all night long for that little moment...vampire or not.

A study in motherhood

Taking Elisa to her first pediatrician's visit on Friday was almost a sociological experiment more than a trip to the doctor. The waiting room quickly filled up with moms, babies and toddlers who were all eyeing one another and taking stock of each's strengths and weaknesses. I was amazed by one Aussie woman's three abnormally tall and almost overly developed children who were 6mos, 3 yrs, and 5 yrs but looked much more like a 1 yr old, 5 yr old and 8 yr old. When she questioned the age of a young Indian woman's son (who turned out to be 9 mos. old but way smaller than her freakish daughter) the mother explained that her son was small for his age, but that she and her husband were both "small people." To which the Aussie replied, "Well, you're not that small..." and then followed it with the comment that even though he was small, the boy didn't appear to have anything "developmentally wrong" with him. Ouch. It was such a little exchange but so full of competitive mothering and sly digs. When the Indian woman mentioned she was there for her son's allergic reaction, she said, "You can't see it, but I can see it."

I kept my mouth mostly shut throughout this waiting room game, except to talk to a young Orthodox woman whose 6 mos. old daughter Yael was a fair little girl, but hardly "tiny" for her age as her mother suggested. When she asked how old Elisa was and I responded "she was born on Sunday," the mother expressed disbelief that I was out and about and looking so well. I thanked her, and then she explained that with her first baby, she suffered from some post-partum depression and plus she'd had an episiotomy so she wasn't up to much the first week. When she stopped and said, "did you have one?" and I said, "yeah, but you know, you just keep going" she was again slightly taken aback. I guess that's a little confidence booster in the new world I'm entering. To hear other mothers lamenting things I seem to be taking in stride must mean I'm doing something right. And if not, I'm sure they'll tell me that too.

And now for the REST of the story...

After educating myself over the last 9 months about the ups and downs of labor, I have to admit it was MUCH harder than I imagined. Not to say that I thought all the other women who've gone before me were talking crazy, but somehow, I had the sense that this could be a process I'd learn from and maybe smile about when I thought of it. NOT TRUE. But then, that's probably a good thing since if I'd have really known what I was in for, I'm not sure I could have faced it.

On Saturday, the 16th, at 4:30am my water broke and as luck would have it, Nacho was on his last trip overnighting in TORONTO, CANADA!!! I called him immediately and basically said, "get your ass home this morning as fast as you can..." He still had to fly the first leg of the trip back to Washington, DC, but then caught a flight to LaGuardia which put him home by 10am. My mom was already flying to NYC that day as well, so she arrived by 12pm. I wasn't having steady contractions yet, so I waited at home until about 3pm and then we all went to the hospital. Little did I know that this would be a VERY SLOW process.

I wasn't really in "active labor" until 1am Sunday morning. They had to give me pitocin (which increases the frequency and intensity of contractions) to get my cervix to dilate more and I tried so hard NOT to get an epidural. I just wanted to do this "naturally" but after 7 hours without any pain medicine (and the EVIL that is pitocin) I couldn't do it. I got the epi and that helped me relax between contractions. By 7am on Sun. I was fully dilated and ready to "labor down" and get this girl out. That's when I thought I was almost DONE. But the joke was, I had much more to go...she didn't arrive until almost 5 hours later!!!

My doctor was surprisingly patient with me, but finally he said we were going to have to do a c-section if Elisa didn't come out in the next "three pushes." Because she was in for over 24 hours after my water broke, the doctors were nervous we could both get an infection. I swear to God I have never felt so scared or so determined in MY LIFE! I pushed three more times and everyone in the room was SCREAMING "she's coming out!!!" and then I had to do a 4th and final push (yes, I snuck one more in!!) and she was HERE!! It was JUST in the nick of time. I avoided the c-section and got her out, but I don't think I could have taken any more. The doctor did help pull her out with a vacuum, which I have to say I'm glad he could because all 22 and 3/4 inches of her was very determined to stay put. Nacho and my mom were both with me the entire time and they helped me so much to stay focused and get Elisa here safely. Nacho cut her cord and she was cleaned up for a moment to say hi before they took her to the NICU for monitoring.

I was moved to the mother-baby unit while Elisa bunked downstairs in the NICU for 2 days, but we both came home yesterday, August 20 (coincidentally, my due date!). After all that, neither of us tested positive for any infections and Elisa's tests were all passed with flying colors. It's a long story, no doubt, but one I wanted to share. I think Elisa and I both willed her into this world and though I won't soon forget it, I have to say it was the achievement of my life. Until the next one....:)

She's here...

After a LONG day Saturday, Elisa Leonor Tortajada was born on Sunday, August 17, 2008 at 11:38 a.m. She weighed 7 lbs. 7.5 oz. and was a whopping 22 3/4 inches long. She has lots of fine brown hair like her daddy and blue eyes which might be changing to green. Hard to tell. We are both home today and Nacho and I feel very happy to have her in our lives.

Impeccable timing

Well, this will be short and snappy. I woke up this morning around 4:30am with a steady trickle of fluid coming out when I rolled over. Of course this would happen the last night that Nacho was working and on an overnight in Toronto...CANADA. So, I called him and told him he better get the first flight out of Dulles when he gets in this morning. Should be back in NYC by 10am or so. I've been waiting about 3 hours so far and have some mild cramps and contractions about 10-14 min. Talked to mom who was already awake at 6:30am because she's flying up today. As I said--good timing, huh? Of course, the first phonecall to the hospital was comical. The doctor on-call (who's a real jackass) said to come in so they could check me out, get me in a room and "start the pit." As in PITOCIN. I said, "uh, actually, I'm trying to avoid that." When I mentioned my husband was on a plane home and would be here in a few hours and I felt like staying put, he simply responded, "okay, well, that's fine. I'll let Dr. Randall know. He'll be on then." Which is funny, because that's my doctor who I could care less if I saw or not and now I'm actually relieved he'll be there.

So, now I sit and wait...and having cramps and a few contractions makes me feel like I can officially say labor has begun....maybe Nacho's nephew Diego will have a "prima" on his birthday afterall.

"You can't stop progress!"

Entering week 39 and have some encouraging news from my doctor...apparently Elisa is "engaged" in my pelvis which means she's pretty much locked and loaded in the head down position, ready for the final event. I knew something was different as of about a week ago, but hearing the confirmation at Monday's appointment was nice. He also checked to see if I was at all dilated and announced I'm at 1 cm, which is nothing much but at least shows she's headed in the right direction. Of course, some people stay at 1 cm until they are in labor and others dilate slowly over a period of time. We'll see which camp I fall into. As of today, though, I'm just glad to hear something is happening. Hopefully with one week left til D-Day, I'll be updating this blog next with some actual NEWS! Keep you posted.

It won't be long now...

August--the month I thought would never come has finally arrived and with it, the prospect of meeting our daughter. I've been having weekly doctor appointments for the past 3 weeks and am hoping there won't be too many more. The shopping is almost complete for the last few things we needed before Elisa arrives, and now I am concentrating on finishing up as much at work as I can. Nacho has already cleared his schedule after August 16, so he should be near home when I need him. And my last "official" day at work will be this Friday, August 15, so hopefully I'll still have a week to rest up and make the transition to being at home and ready for the big event.

There haven't been too many signs of Elisa's imminent arrival, except that I feel like she might have "dropped" or engaged in my pelvis this past week. I've been having much more pelvic pressure and slowing to a crawl when I walk. The peeing every 5 min. is still a constant (I mean, I never had a great bladder to begin with), but given all the swelling and discomfort of the last week and a half, I'm amazed I've been able to do as much of my normal schedule as I have. We also took a newborn care class this week which was maybe not as helpful as I'd hoped, but still a good forum for discussing what to expect in the first few weeks. Besides promoting olive oil above all other remedies, the midwife suggested some ideas for how to differentiate between day and night for a baby whose only concern is a 24 hr sleep/eat/poop cycle. Hopefully some of that will come in handy when I'm waking at 3am and 6am and 9am....

But mostly, I think the mood of the week has been one of anticipation. Nacho and I are both very excited to meet this little girl and to dive right into parenthood. With our fifth year anniversary coming up (August 28) we have agreed to let her be the "gift" and to enjoy the month and a half off work together with our little one. That really is the best present I could ask for.