Sunday, February 26, 2012

MoMA MoFun

Sometimes when you tell people here you live in Queens you get a look--half pity, half disdain. Usually if it's someone marginally decent on the receiving end, there is a pause and a search for that one time they were in our fair borough so they can show that they too have been there (i.e. "I love Jackson Diner!"). Let's face it, we're no Brooklyn. We're not that cool. And as Nacho loves to tell people, don't forget your passport when you cross the Queensboro Bridge because it's an extremely diverse part of the city and you're bound to think you've left the U.S. for a moment. Maybe it's this strangeness that lends itself to the decidedly un-hip vibe of Queens, but that's okay with us. It keeps the rents reasonable and the people who do live here unusually authentic. I suppose it's for all these reasons we love our little neck of the woods so much which is why I really can't explain the fact that we'd never been to MoMA P.S. 1's contemporary art outcropping in Long Island City. On Friday we remedied all that and met up with Nacho's friend Phil and his son Daniel who made the trek in from New Rochelle. It was a perfect morning for a museum--cool and damp--so we headed over just in time to find out it didn't open til noon. Hmmmm....off to Sweetleaf, a nearby coffee shop for a bit to rev up for the visit.
By the time we made it through the museum doors, the kids activity levels were peaking and we had maybe an hour to play and enjoy the place. The first exhibit was by far the most fun and engaging for them (and me too!) since it featured a huge room on the lower level filled 3-4 feet deep with different colored yarn. It was so inviting to just jump and dive and roll around in. Elisa and Daniel both loved it of course, and we had a hard time pulling them out of there to see the rest of the museum. And really, once we got up to the 2nd floor, there wasn't a whole lot to see. The live animal exhibits were okay, and I loved the burrito room. But the not-suitable-for-kids movie prompted a total meltdown from Elisa, and we were needing to exit and find food anyway, so I tried to segway to that. Thankfully the Court Square Diner was a stone's throw away under the 7 train and that fit the bill perfectly. Elisa again had some trouble staying seated, but we managed to quickly pump some food in her, and Carolina fell asleep and stayed down through our lunch which worked out beautifully. By the time we were heading back to the car around 2:30 p.m., I knew we'd survived the outing and would even make it home in time for duel naps. Bonus! Yes, despite the ups and downs, it was a pretty good use of a rainy old day in the city. Maybe next time we can make it when they open their M. Wells-led cafe. Now that would be something worth the price of admission.

Friday, February 24, 2012

The more things change...

Lately I can't help but look at Elisa and ponder all the changes she's gone through in just three years. She has learned to sit up and eat, walk and run, speak Spanish and English. She has grown so much taller and become so confident in her body. She dances and sings, engages everyone in conversation and loves to make us laugh. She has a funny, squinty smile she makes when she thinks she's being really hilarious. And truth be told, it's pretty hard not to smile back. That's her saving grace. When she's "on," she couldn't be more lovely. As Abuela once said, Elisa has an inner light that just shines. And I see it too. There is a spontaneity to her and a warmth. She loves making new friends and she holds tight to the ones she adores. But all of that is hard to remember in the heat of the moment when her stubbornness and sense of entitlement take over. She is, afterall, a three year old who does not know patience or gratitude or at least, she doesn't practice them much.

And I hate that. I hate feeling like every day with her is a battle of wills--of trying to explain myself to an irrational, uncompromising bully, but that's the rut we seem stuck in. I think I'm a pretty tolerant mother--all things in moderation and such. Ice cream for breakfast? No. But ask me later and chances are I'll say yes. So why does she push for more, more, more? It feels like nothing is ever enough and giving in only tends to backfire in the most disastrous way. Is it just this age? As much as I try to change my framework for dealing with her, sometimes I think the patterns are set. We know exactly how to drive each other crazy, and yes, say hurtful things. Elisa's favorite expression lately is "today I'm not your friend" which means look out cause she's not having it. My standard response is "that's okay because I'm your mom so I don't need to be your friend." I find that amusing, but apparently she doesn't. And fortunately, I also know how to make up with her and occasionally I get a laugh out of her before it gets too ugly. But man, that's harder and harder to do. We've had a few good days of it together this week while Nacho was working, but I sometimes wonder if that's part of the problem. She seems to behave worse when we are both around more which irks me to no end. It should be the opposite, I feel. But with Elisa, she mellows out considerably when she has only one parent around to clash with.

So who knows. Just as I started this post, I was marveling at all the changes we've seen and wondering what the next three years will bring. And many times I feel that the worst is really behind us. We have so few genuine freakouts now, but they are still colossal when they happen. Just today she had a total meltdown at the museum which was triggered by hunger and fatigue no doubt, but that's no excuse when it comes to the screaming and hitting and flailing about. And maybe it didn't take as long to calm her down, but it's hard to say when you are trying to literally pick her up off the floor so people don't have to walk over her. The fact that she looks like she's 5 and not 3 just adds to the fun of the stares from the viewing public. Oh, yes, this is my girl, but ugh, she's killing me sometimes. Please let her know that I still love everything about her, but I could use a little more of the sweet stuff now and then.

Monday, February 20, 2012

We have tooth!!

I felt the first little razor blade poking through this morning. Six and a half months! I don't remember exactly when Elisa got her first, but it was definitely springtime. Thinking late March or even April. Everything is happening so much faster it feels like lately. Last night as I was playing with her on our bed before putting her down for the night, Carolina started saying "da-da-da-da" in the quietest, sweetest voice. It was almost a whisper, yet the smile was so big and wide that I knew she was delighted with herself. She's continued it today and I think she is finally figuring out that she has a voice in this family too. A little one for now, but I'm sure that won't last long. Yes, this little girl is showing me new things every day and they all tell me that she's growing up. Right now. And I'm so very lucky to be here with her seeing it all.

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Saturday morning

Just a lazy day with Papa at work and us girls at home. I know in another year they will be playing and laughing and probably ignoring me. And I can't wait...



Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Happy Hearts and Flowers Day!


My little Valentines made this a special day. No chocolates or flowers but a big smile when I walked through the door with these balloons. What more could I want?

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Rainbow Park!

Our neighborhood of Sunnyside, Queens is lucky enough to be home to several parks, including our favorites Lou Lodati and Sunnyside Gardens Park. But just on the other side of the boulevard, there is the Thomas P. Noonan Playground, aka "Rainbow Park," which makes a nice stop over when we hit the library or go to eat at the best Mexican joint De Mole. When my friend Jenny said she'd be back in the 'hood for the afternoon and suggested we meet up there, I thought it was about time we made it over there for a little playtime. Add a few more friends and kids, a lot of sunshine and a quick picnic lunch and we had all the ingredients for a perfect mid-winter's diversion. During peak hours it can be a bit of a madhouse and the equipment has always seemed more suitable to the older kids, I think. But that day with a nearly empty park, Elisa was able to climb and jump and slide without my help and she managed to trek across the little footbridge without freaking out. See, things are looking up? Having a few of Mama's Empanadas while the kids ran around was even better. Something about that tangy sauce just gets me every time. Of course the good weather didn't last long and by week's end we've had light snow and bitter cold. But I'm sure there will be more sunny days ahead if we can just be patient. I can't wait to see the rainbow turn into sprinklers again one of these days soon!

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Half a year

Today we had Carolina's six month check-up and guess who's measuring big? Yes, we have another girl who's off the charts with her height and keeps that curve flying high. For the record, she measured 28 inches and 18 lbs. 9 oz. I just double checked Elisa's stats around that time and she was 17 lbs. and 27 1/2 in. So we're in the same ballpark and like I suspected, I think Carolina is going to continue to outpace her sister in the growth pattern. She just looks so much bigger lately. I guess there's something about the six month mark that makes you realize she is at the apex of her babyhood. Right. Now. It's all moving forward at lightening speed and I keep trying to remind myself that when I hold her in my arms (especially at 3 or 4 a.m.) that this won't last forever. Just as I sit down on the edge of Elisa's bed most nights and look at this three year old who has so much to tell me and wonder who is she? Who will she be? We've been reading The House That Jack Built and she gets such a kick out of the rhyming. I swear she's memorized half that book already and it just makes my heart full to hear her sing along to the words with me. I can't imagine Carolina as a toddler and yet that day is coming. So often I hear or read about friends who's kids are already school age and getting older and they wax nostalgic for their baby years. I swore I wouldn't ever do that, but I can feel it now. I'm sure I'll have my moments of missing this babyhood stuff. I didn't believe that after Elisa's trial-by-fire infancy, but with Carolina things are so much easier that it's possible. It's in her wide-eyed smile at 5 a.m. and her silly belly laugh when you tickle her with your hair...she can only communicate with those little grunts and shrieks and she forgives me so many times when I can't rush to her first. She is such a patient girl. Sometimes she has this little sigh that she gives you, like "okay, mom, I'm still waiting. You go ahead..." It's wonderful to hear and to be able to scoop her up and hug her little body all while I know that she is going to pull my ears and eat my face in scratchy satisfaction moments later. And I do love that move. Carolina has a quiet intensity that might just help her out when it comes to dealing with her sister. Because as much as Elisa loves to shower her with affection, I can also see how she tests Carolina sometimes with playful little hits and slaps. I try to curb that and Elisa feigns ignorance, but her day is coming. If I remember right, little sisters know how to get in their moves too. So Elisa better watch out. Six months and counting til their first spat. Oh, yes, how I can't wait to see where this goes...

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

The big "S"

Sleep. There, I said it. That magic word that most parents begin to appreciate in a whole new light after they have kids. I didn't think too much about it before I had Elisa. You go to bed late, you sleep in. What is there to think about? Okay, maybe you have a few early mornings getting off to work on time. Shouldn't have stayed up watching TV so late. But the weekend is coming, you can sleep then. But after Elisa was born, sleep took on a whole new meaning. In parenthood there are no weekends. There is no sleeping in again. Ever. Even if it looks like sleeping in, meaning I get to stay in bed for an extra hour while Nacho wakes up and takes care of the girls, I'm not peacefully dozing away uninterrupted. I will have woken up multiple times during the night either because of some baby grunting or to pee or both, and then again when Carolina wakes for the day. I will have helped cajole her while Nacho makes a bottle or finds his pajama pants to wear out into the living room. No, there is no such thing as "sleeping through the night." I hate that term and the way it mocks what all parents go through. The reality is that even before Carolina was born, we were up most nights at least once dealing with Elisa crying out and needing something. And she was three. Granted her outbursts are usually short lived and include requests for milk, repositioning her blanket or just some nonsense mumbled at 1 a.m. that requires no action at all, but a soothing hand to smooth back her hair and close the door again. And don't get me wrong, I still consider Elisa to be a good sleeper. She still naps every afternoon for almost 2 hours, then goes to bed willingly most nights by 8:30 p.m. I sing her a few songs, and we chat and then I leave. She doesn't get up out of bed or make a thousand requests. She falls asleep on her own and will often shout for me in the morning instead of getting out of her room. I have it pretty good. But damn it all, I still long for the time when I can sleep til I wake up. Just sleep in peace. When does that come again? When the kids can wipe their own butts and make their own breakfast? Five more years? Did I just say years??

And in the meantime, I am going through all the sleep struggles I remember having with Elisa around 6 months now that Carolina is becoming more social too. Sleep just seems so boring to her now. She doesn't get drowsy sipping the last of her bottle and in fact, she tries to sit up and get out of my arms as if she has other things to do. She has recently switched it up yet again and we are 100% swaddle-free and just a few days ago she started sleeping on her tummy. Actually, she flipped over, got mad and screamed until she passed out on her stomach. But it was a three hour nap so I'd call that a success! It gave me such hope and then she promptly dashed it again by waking up mid-nap several days in a row now screaming and not going back down. She doesn't seem to know what she wants and it's driving me a little crazy. And that's the thing about sleep. It's not a linear progression. You leap forward to a new routine or sleep habit that works amazingly and then you jump back five steps to a screaming fit that won't end or falling back on old tricks (swing, I'm looking at you). You never have it figured out and that's the terrible part. Why are some nights so good and relatively easy and then the day comes and nothing works well? Naps can last 30 minutes or three hours and you just never know which is coming. I hate that. I hate feeling like I have no control. And really, isn't that the whole crux of parenting? You do what you think is best but really, truly, you have no idea if it will work? You don't control your own day, but rather end up reacting to a series of unpredictable events that you hope will make sense by 8 p.m. And yes, I know Carolina has been a pretty awesome sleeper so far even if she's still not staying down all night without some help. With this new routine, she's even taken to falling asleep completely on her own with just a little singing or grunting sometimes. Of course, that's only if she's not too tired and you get her in the crib before that magic two hour expiration, or it's bedtime. Last night around 8 p.m. I laid her down so calmly but with her eyes still wide and her hands reaching up to grab her paci and play with it. I leaned down, kissed her forehead and left. And I didn't hear from her until 6:30 a.m. It was a great night, but somehow I still want more. This two hour cryfest of a nap has totally ruined the goodwill of the morning. So there it is. You're only as good as your last sleep. And right now, it's time to wake her to go get Elisa at school. Ugh. Waking a baby just seems wrong. But that's life with two which means naps will have to be cut short sometimes. And really, it's not the end of the world. It would just be nice to know I have another good one coming this afternoon. But I don't think there's a memo on that. Not yet anyway.

Friday, February 3, 2012

Vamos, vamos

What an adventure that was! We made it back from Madrid on Wednesday and after a couple of days getting our bearings back, I can safely say it was an all-around awesome trip. Really. The things I was nervous about (traveling with a sickly baby, time change sleep issues, leaving the kids for a few nights out) were all smoothed away with hardly any effort. I dare say that Carolina slept better in Spain than she does here, but most of that was probably because she had her own room. Each night around 4 or 5 a.m. we would hear her squeak awake and get up to change her diaper, feed her about 4 oz. of milk and then put her down in her car seat tipped back to a reclining position (mostly to keep her paci in for a little while). It worked like a charm and she slept in til 10:30 or 11 a.m. most days. In fact, I had to open her door most of the time and check on her only to find her staring at the ceiling with a big, dumb grin. She really is too good to me sometimes. And yes, Elisa was pretty great too. She had her moments of exhausted craziness, but mostly, she was so excited by the new environment, new toys, lots of new words and hanging out with Papa's family. In our previous four visits with her, I didn't have to do a whole lot to get Elisa on Spanish time. Somehow she just napped when she needed the first day and after that, she was usually waking around mid-morning and going to be late after the 10 p.m. dinners. It just worked out and made for a fuss-free transition. And now seeing how the two of them did, I have to say Carolina took a page right out of the same playbook. And how lucky for me, because it made the time we spent so much more enjoyable. Here's a little peek...
The days were so bright and sunny. I forgot how much sun Madrid gets in the winter. It was like a warm hug that kept even the coolest winds from really bothering me. So nice. And with over a week to hang out and see the family, there was plenty of time to do it all: eat good home-cooked meals, meet up with friends and also take advantage of some babysitting from abuela and the aunts who clearly showered these girls with all kinds of treats and affection. I really relaxed which is just how a vacation should feel. It gives me hope for our future travels and the idea that our family life and pre-baby travel life will one day reunite. Oh, yes. I live for that time. It's something Nacho and I joke about a lot when we feel like parenthood is more punishment than reward. "Remember when we used to...?" we say. Oh, yes. I remember. We had such good lives boomeranging around the world. Iceland, Argentina, Aruba, Mexico, The Southwest and Northeast, Canada, and Spain too many times to count. And we travel well together which means we don't add stress to what can be an already stressful dance of getting ourselves and two kids to the airport and on the plane. It is a well choreographed ballet that when it works, feels like we were always meant to live this life. I don't know how else to say it. And yeah, Nacho gets all kind of worried about the actual logistics of the flight and timing and I overpack and make sure we have everything we could possible need. But otherwise, it's pretty fluid. We know how to do this and we like the freedom of travel. Having family on the other side just makes it even better. If this was a dry-run for our trip over in August, I'd say it was a stunning success. So let's hope the next six months are kind to us and our girls only grow to love this travel game as much as we do. But really, how could they not?