Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to me. It's been 10 years of mothering this year and 7 since this picture was taken. My how the time has flown. But really it's been a slow march of days. Some good, some bad. So many ending in a quiet reprieve from the chaos, the bickering, the insane laughter just before bed. These girls have taught me so much. And I try to learn a little more every day. But sometimes I know I'm not the best student. It's hard to stay in the moment and meet them where they are a lot of the time. I think I was better at that in the beginning. Now I am trying to balance my own goals and desires with what's truly best for them. There's a lot of shepherding going on and it's hard work. Sometimes it sucks. But today I'm taking it easy. Today they are trying not to fight. So far we're all happy. Hope it lasts.

Making my own day

Mother's Day is no longer a day that I feel I have to wait and see what happens. It's really just like every other day, except that I make shit happen that I WANT to happen. And I try really hard to prioritize what will make me happy while simultaneously giving my family a chance to spoil me. So yes, I ordered a few dozen donuts from my favorite bakery in Brooklyn. And then I sent my husband out to pick them up, thus allowing for him to also make a flower run. And then I scheduled a donut brunch at Carmen's so we could see her and her mama on this special day. And we also invited José and Irene over too so we could share the sweet treats. Bringing people together with food is always a win for me, and so why not on Mother's Day? I got to see some of my favorite moms and got to drink mimosas and chill. And that was pretty fucking perfect. So no, I don't run off for a massage or a pedicure or some kind of alone time. I was happy to spend the day with my girls--the creatures that made me a mom. But I don't feel like a martyr of motherhood on my special day. I feel like my family wants to treat me right...but they still need a little help. That's why I pick up the phone and make it happen. It's why I handed the camera over and said "take my picture." It works. And I don't feel bad for asking. 

HMD

Mother's Day this year meant waking at 8:15 a.m. to Elisa standing over my bed showing me her goodie bag loot from Saturday's birthday party. I had skipped out on those festivities in honor of celebrating with Tania and Chris for his 40th birthday party in the city. So clearly, I had missed out on the excitement at the park and Elisa quickly wished me a happy mother's day followed by stuffing a coloring book in my face. Just give me five more minutes of sleep, kiddo. Fortunately that turned into almost another hour and a half. Nacho got up and helped the girls get pancakes ready for me since I didn't feel like the hassle that sending him out for donuts would entail. No, this year everything was on no-hassle mode. We had breakfast, got dressed at a leisurely pace and then took a little picnic lunch of happy meals and some Cemitas El Tigre over to the park. I had an afternoon photo shoot in the neighborhood so I didn't want to go too far. And really, it was such a chill day that it almost didn't feel like working at all. After a whirlwind of communions on Saturday morning, I was happy to be just lounging on Sunday. Well, for the most part. Nacho had fly out this evening, so I knew it was going to be all my turn later in the day. But really, Mother's Day is never a day off. Not the way it could be before kids. No matter how much you try to shirk it, a mother's responsibilities do not end with one day of flowers and breakfast in bed. Nor would we want them to. The necklaces and poems I received were only the icing on the cake. Being a mom to these girls is my whole world. And when I feel overwhelmed by that, I'm lucky to share this journey with a really wonderful man. We took our first real family vacation this year and it made me excited for what's to come. That's how I want to look at the rest of 2016. Bring it on. Summer and Kindergarten and all that awaits us in the next few months. I will try to keep the hassle-free mantra as well, but I know that's hard. If only life could be like a lazy Sunday. We can try.

Mother's Day Redux

As I've said before and will say again, Mother's Day doesn't really need to be a big deal for me to feel pampered. Okay, yes, it usually involves donuts (Peter Pan, naturally) and taking a little time to enjoy the city, but I'm very open to letting it play out how ever works easiest for everyone. This year Dan Riley was in town to see friends at a wedding and that was the day that made the most sense to meet up. So after our obligatory donut run to Brooklyn, we headed towards Hunters Point South to the playground before rendez-vous'ing with Dan & Co. at the Anable Basin for lunch and a few cold ones. It was kind of funny that this was nearly the same playlist as last year, down to Nacho's shirt. But hey, if it ain't broke...The weather was absolutely beautiful and even a bit warm.  At the playground, we bumped into Andy and Mindy so we dragged them along for some beers and that was that. A low key hang out with lots of good people and a little bouquet waiting for me at home. Mother's Day complete. 

Oh happy day

Mother's Day 2014 was just exactly what I needed it to be. Nothing rushed. Minimal fussiness (theirs and mine). Abundant sunshine and good food. And my family together. That's it. That's enough. 

Appreciation

Before another weekend rolls by, I should really recap how nice my Mother's Day was. Nacho was off both Saturday and Sunday so that alone made me happy. Sometimes when his days off are one at a time and scattered throughout the week, it's anxiety-producing because I feel like we're not using them wisely--too much time spent running errands or laundry. So having two in a row felt like we had all the time in the world to hang out and just do a few fun things along with the usual park runs.  Of course, I like to think of myself as a low maintenance woman so when Mother's Day rolls around, Nacho  knows better than to worry about buying me anything elaborate. In years past, he has indulged me in a spa gift certificate, but that was probably because he was making up for the year I was pregnant with Elisa when he said I wasn't really a mother yet. Okay, in hindsight, he was probably right, but somehow being 7 moths pregnant at the time I felt I was entitled to some celebration for getting the fetus that far.  Flash forward 5 years and I was rewarded with homemade cards, a bracelet and paper flowers from Elisa who absolutely beamed with pride. She was so excited to give these gifts to me and I was truly, deeply appreciative. It's times like that when I really look at her and see how far she's come and realize we're only still beginning to know each other. How cool is that? 

The rest of the morning was spent at T-ball at SGP which went marginally better than the first week, then a donut run to Peter Pan Bakery in Greenpoint, BK where we scored some major glazed goodness. After a couple of failed runs there lately, this felt like a real coup. Of course we didn't get there until almost 12:30 p.m. which had something to do with it. I mean, who's ever heard of a donut shop having more donuts later in the day?   They're nuts--or catering to hipsters. Hard to tell.  Anyway, I returned to flowers secretly bought and stashed on the dining room table and a nice, quiet evening at home with the girls and an easy dinner while they slept. The sweet snuggles at bedtime were probably the highlight of an otherwise enjoyable day and another reminder that being a mom is mostly about the things money can't buy. It's what makes me happy I'm here every day right now.  Mother's Day was just an excuse to rest in between the diaper changes and multiple requests for food and toys and entertainment. Some day it will mean breakfast in bed prepared by my girls after a nice morning sleeping in. Some day...

Happy Mom's Day

Nacho snapped this photo of Elisa and me before we drove him to the airport today. It was a very relaxing morning, noshing on donuts and hanging around the apartment before we had to say our goodbyes. Yesterday was such a calm, leisurely day capped off with dinner at our favorite Mexican joint, De Mole, that I really didn't need a big production for Mother's Day. We swung by the park on the way back from seeing Nacho off, and I got to spend a couple of hours chatting and hanging out with some of our neighborhood pals. Elisa was off and running and had a good time without needing me to watch over her too closely. It just felt like the day unfolded as it should and this girl's smile really warmed my heart. After all that exercise, she succumbed to her nap without much fight and I rested up myself. Even though we've had a few days of post-nap grumpiness, today Elisa was almost completely drama-free! I'll take it!

And yet as I look at this photo of the two of us, I can't help but think about what will come by next May. I've found myself getting a bit over confident lately with my mothering capabilities. On a date night a few weeks ago, I sat next to a table of newbie parents. The mother wouldn't stop making pronouncements about how they "never get out anymore" or how this was her "first glass of wine in a year!" She went on and on about how she still couldn't believe they had a real, live child and wondered aloud how their little girl's personality would develop in the coming months and years. It was all I could do to listen without offering up my own take on things. I sat there silently smug about having come through that trial by fire and having seen my little baby become a full fledged girl. Her questions and concerns seemed so naive to my wiser ears. Yet, even as I patted my belly and thought she might just be talking loudly for my benefit (perhaps thinking I was experiencing pregnancy for the first time--silly woman), a part of me realized that going down this road a second time doesn't mean it's all figured out. Far from it. I've had such a different pregnancy from the one I had with Elisa. Physically it's been harder with symptoms coming on sooner and making me more miserable faster. The swelling and pain in my legs is almost unbearable without compression stockings on all day, and I know I've got two more brutal months ahead. And although I feel fully immersed in motherhood as a lifestyle, I have no idea how to mother two kids. How will I juggle a preschooler and an infant with completely different schedules/priorities/temperaments? Hopefully by next Mother's Day I can answer those questions and the new ones I don't even know exist yet. I must remember to stay humble and accept that this new baby is not the same as the first one. Because if there's anything that becoming a mother has taught me, it's humility. Every single day. Not the easiest of paths in life, and now I can say not the best path for everyone. But for me, it's been a defining one. I am a mother and I love it. Not a bad thing to remember on a breezy Sunday in May.

Happy Mother's Day

I'm spending the day alone with my girl today and trying to enjoy every minute of it. Even the waking at 6:15 a.m. Not easy, but then again she was so excited to chat while laying in bed with me. How could I resent that? I love Elisa's enthusiasm for everything the minute she wakes up. She wants to push the baby in the stroller, and jump on the bed and blow bubbles, and...the list goes on and on. But most of all, she wants someone to talk to. She gestures and points and makes up a string of babble that you know must have some meaning somehow. And I love that the more I get to know her, the more I want to spend time with her and try to unlock those nonsensical sentences and eruption of giggles after a really animated gesture. We miss having Papa home today, but I think we'll do something fun, just us girls. Brunch in the neighborhood, and then maybe hit the park. Lowkey but that's how I like it. If she's good, I might even let her buy me flowers.

Happy Mother's Day to all!

It's 6:15pm and Elisa decided to have a third nap today, so I'm taking advantage of it by catching up on my blogging and reflecting on all that this day means. I thought since Nacho would be traveling this weekend I should attempt to make plans which would keep me from wallowing in my first mother's day alone. As always, my good friend Dan Riley came through and even brought me flowers for our pancake breakfast at home. Since convincing Dan to move to Sunnyside last year, I've reaped many benefits from his friendship and proximity. He's the kind of guy you like to know is around at the drop of a hat.

Here he is teaching Elisa some great recipes from the Amy Sedaris cookbook. Hilarious stuff if you haven't seen that before. We visited the park at Greenpoint and 47th Ave for a few minutes to let Elisa get her swing on, before hitting the Paraguayan bakery for some delicious empanadas.
I should note that in his absence, Nacho did ensure I wouldn't go empty-handed this mother's day. He gave me a very nice (and unexpected) gift certificate to a day spa in Manhattan that came highly recommended from my friend Protima. As Nacho said, when you want luxury, you can trust Protima will steer you right. So, thanks to his initiative and Protima's good taste, I'll have a treat to enjoy in the next few weeks.  Most of all I think I enjoyed this first mother's day because I really feel like I'm beginning to get the balance back in my life that was hard to come by in the first 6 months. Elisa has mastered sleeping and naps and is a very playful and enjoyable baby to be around. And I'm realizing that if you approach the day with new eyes, the same routines and actions can be fun, or at least offer the potential for small moments that you will never forget.
I see more and more of my own reflection in Elisa lately and maybe that's why it's such a joy to see her smile back or clap her hands or just babble softly to herself. It's like watching all that I must have gone through too as a baby and wondering what on earth she'll be like in another year, or three or five. It's such a mystery and yet it propels you forward in time like nothing else. I can't wait to meet her again and again every day.
And of course, I'm also reflecting on this day what it means to be a mother and how the women in my life have informed my own sense of motherhood. I'm extremely grateful to all of them for the wisdom shared and the little encouragements that have meant the world to me. So for all of us on this day, I hope it is filled with lots of hugs and laughter.