Catching up

I don't usually like to backtrack too much on this blog. It's something I realized within the first year or two of keeping it--that I like to plow straight ahead and post quickly. If too much time passes after an event or milestone, it can be hard for me to summon the writing mojo. Fortunately, that hasn't been a big problem and I would say most of the ideas I have or special events I snap get featured here.  It probably harkens back to my journal keeping days in grade school and beyond that I love the chronology of it all--the way the days and months and years stack up with such a linear progression. The orderliness which is so lacking in other parts of my life just makes sense here. I don't question it. But needless to say, with all the birthday hoopla hitting just before our three-week vacation, things on the blog got a bit neglected. I was hoping to catch up while in Spain, but again, I chose to sleep and eat and lay around. Not a bad way to watch the end of summer go by, but now I'm wishing I'd done a little more writing.  So before I forget about a few special trips (Central Park Zoo, Science Center minigolf and Socrates Sculpture Park), I'll start with the other August 2nd birthday girl, Birdie, and her party at the park the weekend before we skipped town.

I realized as I was planning our first full-fledged birthday in the park extravaganza that it was going to take a lot of organizing effort. I weighed lots of menu options, bought decorations and the requisite food, and finally came up with an invite and party favors that I thought covered all my bases. And it all went off without a hitch, but man, was it tiring. Let's just say it gave me a new appreciation for all the parties we stroll up to and just enjoy.  And since Birdie's was the very next day after ours, I was especially thankful to just sit back and have a beer and some delicious chicken wings. There was a magician with face painting and the necessary balloon twisting (and popping) that kept the kids' attention and left us free to mill about catching up. I enjoyed seeing Carolina gravitate to the older kids and stay somewhat contained in the party, which doesn't usually happen.  The tasty and beautiful Hello Kitty birthday cake Amanda labored over was a definite highlight of the party, as were the homemade kettle corn party favors we received on the way out.  It was fun and simple, and most of all, delicious which is what every party should be. All told, it was a nice afternoon shared with good friends and a great way to leave town on a high note.

Cinco!

Five already. Where did the time go? In some ways this birthday for Elisa was the biggest milestone yet. After two years of preschool within walking distance of our apartment, she is finally school age and life is about to take on new routines and rhythms that revolve around public calendars and bus routes--things that are less about our family life and more about the external forces shaping her days. And of course as I mourn this, I also realize it's about time. It's time to be sending her off a little bit more on her own. She's ready for it, and so am I. This past year has had its share of ups and downs with Elisa's daily moods and behavior. She has tested me in more ways than I can describe, and I haven't always been pleased with my reactions. We have struggled together and at times it's been a mix of shouts and incriminations, tears and soothing hugs.  Just when we would go through a rough patch, things would somehow get better.  When she acknowledged her behavior and made amends, she could be the sweetest kid in the world. And yet, there was always another meltdown waiting in the wings. I might postpone it, but it was still coming for us despite my best efforts to not feed the drama. I'd like to think that's all behind us now at the ripe old age of 5, but I know better. My hope is that it's finally waning and we will see her enjoying and thriving with the stimulation of a full day school schedule--or at least not coming home every day and completely collapsing.

You see, rest is a big part of our daily routine right now.  Elisa has continued to nap throughout this past year and for the most part, I think she still needs it. It takes a lot of energy to be so high maintenance and many afternoons Elisa is the first one to say she's tired. Napping is easier now than it's ever been.  And with Carolina still taking her once a day siesta, it's been pretty convenient to have two napping girls in this house up til now.  But we are approaching the first weeks of school and of adjusting to a new schedule for Elisa. And despite the fact that her school includes nap/quiet time each day, I'm not expecting it to be the same restorative time for her. So we'll see this week how it goes, and more importantly next week when she goes all 5 days. I know she can do it, but I'm also wondering how it will change our evenings and just the flow of life with two kids on different schedules. Certainly it won't be like our lazy, carefree time in Spain where sleeping, eating and swimming were the only priorities. Yes, it was a good time to celebrate this girl turning another year older especially since her cousins were even more fun to hang with than last year. Hearing Carolina and Elisa shouting for Alvaro and playing all kinds of games with Sara was great. They really get along well together, and I think it made the day of birthday festivities even better.

So after a leisurely day hanging out and swimming, we ended up hosting the birthday dinner at a local restaurant/bar within the Encinar neighborhood complex.  It made life much easier to just order some appetizers (grilled shrimp, calamari, huevos rotos, tortilla and croquetas) and enjoy the evening all seated around one long table. No worrying about Abuela or the aunts cooking and cleaning all day long. And with the water cut offs we experienced this summer (and that evening), who wants to deal with washing up the next day?  So we opted for making a mess outside the house and it since it was nearby, it was a perfect fit.  A band played Cuban and Latin American music and the girls danced around the table after sitting pretty well throughout the dinner.  Then we headed back to Pauli and Ignacio's house for cake and presents and a champagne toast. They definitely know how to celebrate in Spain and even after Diego's birthday the day before, we were still ready to raise more glasses in the air. So after all that, the kids began asking about going for a swim. I think they all remembered Elisa's birthday last summer and how it ended in a midnight swim, so they began to gang up on us. And just like that, Nacho grabbed his swim trunks and jumped at the chance to honor his birthday girl. If she wanted to swim, we would swim, he said. And what a good dad and uncle he is. He helped Carolina take a few turns around the pool in that frigid water, and Elisa was loving the soft glow of the lights as she splashed around. Diego and Alvaro took turns jumping, diving and being tossed into the water until finally Jesus joined in the fun and took the plunge. It was a family affair and we all sat around the water's edge laughing and encouraging the swimmers until they were cold enough to get out. Yes, another birthday down and another memory-making visit to Spain all in one. Elisa didn't have the swimming break through she enjoyed last year with her floaties, but she definitely basked in the birthday glow for a full day. And there were no tears. Maybe that's a sign of things to come. I hope so.

Kindergarten begins!

Well, shit. I said I wasn't going to cry. I wasn't going to be one of those mothers, and then this happened. My firstborn put on a uniform and went to Kindergarten this morning and...cue the tears.  I felt like such a lame cliche. I was seeing the years flash before my eyes and this little girl who made me a mom was becoming a student. And to be honest, I'm not sure if I was overcome with emotion for her or for me. We are both facing a major lifestyle change in the coming months and sometimes I feel giddy with excitement thinking about it and sometimes I mourn the life I've had for the past 5 years. It's a lot to process, and I know I'm just beginning. Today went exceptionally well considering I didn't break into a full-fledged sobfest and Elisa held it together while I hugged and kissed her and then scooted out of the classroom. There were so many parents still milling around that I wasn't sure they were ever going to leave, but I knew I couldn't be the last. Better to get it over with fast and be on my way. Kind of like how I hate saying goodbyes at an airport--just drop me at the curb and let the journey begin!

(I think this is about where I lost it. Birdie and Elisa have been hanging out for over 4 years now. Seeing their hands entwined on their first big day in school was, well, a bit too much for this sappy mom. I was so happy to see they have each other.)

And speaking of journeys, what a wild one we have been on with the whole Kindergarten selection process. It's probably true in most big cities that there are lots of downsides to living in a high density population where schools and resources aren't the same as in the burbs. Everyone wants the best for their child, but it's difficult to know what that is exactly.  Throughout this past 8 months of registrations and assessments, lotteries and notifications, I have struggled to stay true to my own goals for Elisa's education. But today I saw that all that after all the hoopla, what really matters is that she is in a classroom with her peers. Nothing more, nothing less. It was all much simpler than I made it.  Of course, it allayed so many fears for us both that there were some familiar faces amongst the group.  Seeing the instant rapport she had with Birdie and Skylar yesterday at the Open House was the kind of thing that makes it easier to picture them there together in the classroom without feeling like she's alone in a sea of terrified kids.

There were so many muted faces today as the kids all clung to their parents, and I watched Elisa looking around for signs that things would be okay. Surprisingly, she didn't get too emotional when I told her I was going to leave. Sometimes I take it for granted that she knows what will happen next, but today I made it a point of telling her a few times that we would stay for a few minutes and then go home. She knew that there was no lunch at school today so maybe that made it easier too, since she'd be home in time to eat and nap like normal. Who knows, but I have to say I was really impressed with her courage. Which is not to say that she didn't look miserable. She was so sweetly pathetic telling me she was going to miss me and that she was "kind of scared" that I almost lost it right then and there. But I didn't. Somehow I found a way to suppress my own well of emotion long enough to get the heck out of there.  And then like a cloud passing over, I felt better.  Hearing that she comforted her friends when they got upset was great. I think deep down Elisa is a nurturer and she shows that when it really matters.  This year is just beginning and I know it will show me new insights into Elisa's personality and her take on the world. I can't wait to see where she's going, as I hold on ever tighter to the memories of that little baby girl I brought home five years ago. 

Vacaciones!

Well, we made it there and back and somehow it's still August. Before our trip to Spain, I felt like the summer was almost over and we'd be starting school within hours. But nope. We still had plenty of time to enjoy three long weeks in Madrid with Nacho's family, celebrate Elisa's 5th birthday, and even take our own little escape for 3 days to Almeria.  The travel part of the equation was both better and worse this time. Better by far on the way home when the girls watched movies, colored and played quietly for a good 5 of the 7 hours.  The way over, however, was a minor disaster with Carolina unable to get comfortable in her car seat and me wishing I had scrapped it at the plane's door. But I didn't. I thought this might be the last time we'd use it onboard, but in hindsight, she was really too big for it and the space too small. It didn't help that the idiot in front of her reclined his seat in her face and huffed and puffed at every shriek and kick. Really I try to be sympathetic with my fellow travelers, but the reality is that while they may be temporarily annoyed by a crazy toddler, I still have to deal with her when we get off the plane. They can go sleep. So I tried my best to mitigate the noise and disturbances, but Carolina wasn't in great form. Finally after an hour of intermittent sleep and screaming, we ditched the seat and let her crash on Nacho's chest for the remainder of the flight. It worked much better that way but still annoyed me to no end that we basically paid $1000 for a Britax to have it's own seat on the flight. Oh well. Lesson learned.

The rest of the travel story is that the worst is probably over. At least I'm looking at it that way. On the way home when Carolina reached a point of exhaustion, she just quietly curled up in a ball next to me and fell asleep. It was. just. that. easy. She stayed down for over an hour before waking in a crying fuss. I quickly moved the pillow onto my lap and threw her tummy side down up and over my legs so she could rest again. And surprise! it worked. She was back asleep in seconds for another hour and a half. I finished the "Avengers" and let my tail bone get nice and numb before motioning to Nacho to help me get this girl off my full bladder. Meanwhile, Elisa had finally fallen asleep and managed to get a good hour and a half under her belt as well. I really wish I'd had my camera handy as it all looked so peacefully amazing. Two kids completely passed out on top of each other and me. It was exactly what I would have hoped for and the reality of it was just too much. I was so relaxed watching the movie feeling like air travel is going to be much, much easier from now on. It just has to be, right?