UPK Graduation

Among several highlights this week was the Stepping Up ceremony at Little Friends, Elisa's preschool.  I'd already seen several other kids from our playgroup sporting caps and gowns for their preschool graduations, and now it was our turn.  Even the use of the word "graduation" seemed kind of misleading. It seemed too official. Nacho wondered aloud if we were going to have to go through this hoopla every year for the foreseeable future. But no. In fact, I think there's something unique and worthwhile about this ceremony. It was really about the transition we've been in for the past few months. Next fall, we will have a child in Kindergarten in the public school system.  Our yearly schedule will rise and fall with its holidays and time off, and Elisa will start to have her own daily routine without us.  I can't even imagine that now, and yet we're only 8 weeks (and one vacation) away from it.  So the time was right to celebrate the end of preschool and UPK and look forward to what's coming next...     

For months, we've been caught up in the Kinder Craze that seems an unavoidable pitfall of this city's placement process.  First there was G&T testing, then our zoned elementary school registration, followed by charter school tours and lottery applications, and finally the waiting game to see how it would all shake out.  But by mid-June we had jumped the last hurdle--the Dual Language program testing at P.S. 150--and we waited for the last piece of the puzzle.  She didn't get a spot. Not even a letter saying no. Nothing. In the end there was no big decision to make.  So we will take the windfall that fell in our lap--the acceptance at the only charter school we got into.  Elisa will attend Academy of the City Charter School in Woodside next fall and I'm very hopeful that it will be the right fit.  With 45 minutes a day each of recess and nap/quiet time, I feel like she will have a softer landing into this brave, new world.  Most of all, I think they will encourage her to love school and learning.  She will have a handful of friends attending as well, which sweetens the deal to be sure. But truly, I don't think she's ready for the one-size-fits-all agenda of a traditional Ged Ed Kindergarten, and she obviously didn't pass the muster for the academic rat race of the specialized programs. And to be honest, that was at times hard to reconcile.  I know Elisa is bright and social and linguistically capable. I wanted her to be offered the moon if she wanted it.  But in the end, what happened was that we got something we weren't even aware existed 6 months ago--a Kindergarten that seems to allow kids to play and develop in due time.  And for Elisa, I think she'll need this coming year to get her bearings, and I want her to have the space and time to gain the skills she'll need for the rest of her scholastic life. Because what's the rush?  When I look back over this process, I realize that as crazy and frustrating as it was as a parent to go through, I'm mostly glad that she's remained totally oblivious to it all because it really has so little bearing on her future. These kids are 4 years old, going on 5--not 18.  We have so many more years of trying to guide her through school and homework, applications and tests.  This is only the beginning of her journey.  I'm ready to move on, and so is she. 

New year, new school

So in the midst of returning from Spain and getting myself ready to leave again for a wedding this past weekend, Elisa started Pre-K at a new school. And she loves it. And I love that she took the change in stride. Because with that girl, you just never know. But sometimes she surprises me and this was one of them. I didn't hesitate to move her to another school because the school she attended last year just wasn't heading in the same direction as I was.  I wanted her to see a more traditional school setting with the Pre-K curriculum and I found it at Little Friends School here in Sunnyside. But as summer vacation wound down and we approached the new school year, I began to get nervous about telling her. I wanted to wait until school was imminent so she would be able to have a look around and meet some kids. Fortunately, they had a couple of days to ease into things and Elisa didn't seem to mind that she wasn't going back to her old school. She only asked once about a friend of hers and I just explained that he was staying at the old school.  Where I expected to find resistance and irritation, there was none. It was so much easier than I had ever hoped. And that was that. We are well into our first full week and she loves her teachers (there are two--one for each classroom, UPK and regular Pre-K) and has asked me several times if she can have her new friends over to our house for a tea party. I've yet to meet all these new faces, but I'm sure in time we will do just that. But for now, there is nothing better than seeing her excitement every morning as she heads out the door to her "Mickey School" (because the former Director had lots of Mickey Mouse mementos in her office).  I really think this fit is better for Elisa, and for me, and that makes starting new feel fresh and right.  Hopefully this continues and leaves me with lots of time to debate the next step in her school trajectory: Kindergarten. With so many options and plenty of limitations here in NYC, my thoughts about it are already a jumbled mess. But in time, everything works out. So here's to another year of school and enough time to see where this girl is headed next.

One year down

First day and last day 

Preschool 2011-2012

So the first year of preschool for Elisa ended in June. We barely made it back from California in time for her to go three whole days that month, but it was worth it. I like closure and the fact that we are switching schools next year just made it seem like this  was it.  We decided to take the summer off and not do anything school or camp related. It just felt like it would be a hassle to have a schedule and mess with the days we might be able to travel or do beach stuff or (admit it) just hang out at home in the A/C.  So Elisa's time at Amazing Magic Beans is over and though we've talked a little bit about the other school in front of her, it hasn't been the right time yet to explain she's moving on. I don't think it benefits me or her to bring that up much before the first week of school. She's still too young to really understand time or the fact that school is not the entirety of life. So why get into it before I have to? If anything I think Elisa is a very social and adaptable kid and I have every faith that she will love her new school. But it's going to be an adjustment from spending every day with her best friends. So we'll see. I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little bit nervous about the transition.  But again, I know once Elisa gets started at the new place, she'll find things to love. 

Little Friends School is probably the oldest preschool in Sunnyside with a turn of the century building and lots of classrooms done up the way I remember school to look with colorful bulletin boards and art work all over the place.  When we checked it out last summer as I was making my decisions about where to send her, the fact that they weren't taking kids who needed potty training was a big negative.  I was too tired and pregnant to care if Elisa was potty trained by July when I wanted to start her, and that wasn't an issue at all with AMB. And the sound of a more progressive, creative environment was part of the appeal there too. Little Friends struck me as very traditional and a bit sedate, but in hindsight I think maybe that's more the direction I should have gone. I think with AMB I found out I wasn't as crunchy as I thought.  Maybe I like structure and organization and quiet more than I realized.  And so what?  I mean AMB definitely has a scene all its own, and it has been the overwhelming choice of our playgroup kids.  But even in that, I had to watch Elisa get moved to the upper classroom without her friends only to have her moved back down in March after the year was well under way for reasons I won't go into here.  Any other kid would have probably protested, but not Elisa.  She took that change in stride and because of it, I did too.  But overall, I was starting to doubt that another year of this environment would prepare her for Kindergarten in the public system. All the talk of child-led activities is great if kids try new things and learn to participate in the group, but with Elisa it seemed like she was too shy or too stubborn to do things she wasn't keen on.  And the parent-teacher conferences only reinforced that my outgoing, social girl was not being herself at school. I was hearing about another kid and one I didn't know how to reconcile with the daughter I know like the back of my hand. 

So yes, this year has been both wonderful to see Elisa off enjoying herself without us, but frustrating because I wonder if the type of school wasn't the best for her.  Coincidentally, I came across an article on a mom blog I read that was about whether "Montessori is right for your child" and so much of what it said reinforced my thoughts about Elisa at AMB.  While I have no doubt that the teachers and director there are passionate about their school, the day-to-day activities were all blending together and Elisa rarely seemed to be trying different pursuits.  I don't know if it was a matter of time because she only went 3 half days, but I don't have one single scrap of paper that I can keep from this year as a memento from Elisa's first year of preschool.  Nothing.  Even the family book that was started at the beginning to journal with her teacher petered out.  There might have been plans and she just didn't cooperate.  Who knows.  In the end, there was a lot of talk about a lot of things, and very little output.  But I do know that Elisa had fun.  And at 3, I think that's all that matters.  I know this might all sound a bit harsh and really, my only goal in writing this is to commit it to memory that we had our ups and downs with school.  Just like life.  It's a bit of a gamble to try for something new, but I think it's worth it to give it a shot. And economically, the fact that Little Friends offers a subsidized Universal Pre-K (UPK) program plus extended hours means that I end up paying only for 1 1/2 hours a day when she'll be there for 4.  It works out to half the cost which is huge considering I hope to have another year looking after these girls at home. So that's the full deal. I know talking about school brings up so many emotions and really they all touch on what we value. And sometimes we don't even know what that is until we see the opposite.  But we all want what's best for our kids. Hopefully, I'm getting closer to what's best for Elisa.  Time will tell.