Mas y Mas

Elisa is definitely half Spanish. In just over a week, she has already learned the very basis of Spanish living, namely how to eat jamon, boquerrones, and mucha fruta without missing a siesta or getting up before 9am. It´s not bad for a kid who sometimes likes to rebel more than she likes to go with the flow. We have been enjoying our time with Nacho´s family and missing him in equal amounts. Elisa doesn´t take long to acclimate and she has got everyone´s name down pat and likes to do a roll call when we´re all seated at the table for lunch. As Tia Pauli says, Elisa loves to be the protagonista of whatever play we´re performing and she spends much of her time at the house roaming around chasing the cats and asking for mas, mas of whatever she´s been drinking or eating. Every day is a new list of words and she´s really impressing me with her ability to hold conversations in both languages. I just returned yesterday from a 4 day excursion with Jordan to the beach town of Nerja on the Costa del Sol and it was an amazing trip. I think Jordan loved the calm waters of the Mediterranean as much as I did the first time. And we were lucky to have a good stretch of days and lots of time to soak up the sun. Coming back to Madrid and seeing Elisa again yesterday was a sight for sore eyes. She was so sleepy waking up from siesta and finding me here that she just melted in my arms. I know she got along fine without me and was the belle of the ball, but still it was great being with my girl again. So now we are hanging out at the house, swimming and playing on the verranda and I´m getting excited about our trip to Barcelona next week and Nacho´s arrival on the 10th. So much going on and yet we´re spending every day falling into the rhythm of life here. Eat, swim, eat, sleep, swim, eat, sleep. Or something like that. Just how I like my summers...

Vamos vamos!

Almost a year ago, we were off to Spain to visit the family for the first time since Elisa was born. This week marks our third trip to the country with Elisa and we're so thrilled to be going back. Summertime in Spain is always relaxing and being surrounded by people who love us and who we don't get to spend nearly enough time with is wonderful. As an extra special treat, we are taking my nephew Jordan for his first visit to Europe. There is already so much I want to see and do with him that I'm trying to balance those ideas in my head along with the lazy days at the pool and relaxing around the house. But I'm sure we'll have enough time for both. Nacho will join us in early August and we're not returning til the 29th of that month. So for now, farewell and we'll write again soon!

The turning twos

It feels like lately when the conversation turns to age, the Twos get a lot of bad press. The "Terrible Twos" is practically a disease from the sounds of it, and yet anyone who has a kid this age kind of understands it's a tricky time. There are the moments of pure sweetness such as a hug, a sincere "thank you, momma" or a well timed kiss that can make you swoon. And then there are the moments of screaming, crying and all out rebellion that make you want to run the other way, forgetting you even have a child. Er, wait, maybe that's just me. Of course, I stick around...it's just a phase afterall, right? So I suppose the Twos are like everything else in this journey--there are new highs and lows and finding the balance is still key. So today we celebrated at the park with another family in our playgroup whose boy is turning two. Bix and his parents Humphrey and Monica are some very cool people--I mean, she even made Brobee-faced cupcakes for her little Yo Gabba Gabba addict. And while I'm soaking up the sun, eating a hotdog and washing a cupcake down with some beer, it all feels good and right. And then I remember that Elisa will be two soon too. How did that happen, I wonder??

I guess somewhere along the way, you see other kids reach milestones before yours and you cheer them on as if it will never apply to your kid. Sitting, standing, walking, running, jumping, scooting...the list goes on and on. And yet, one day there you are watching your child do the very same things in utter amazement. So yes, we are getting closer to two, but it's nice to have these celebrations to preface our own, because otherwise, I might not believe it when it happens.

Here's some video of the cupcakes in action!

Sweatin' it out

Today was one of those summer days where you really feel the heat. And the humidity. It was just ick. But with an evening social at the Sunnyside Gardens Park, we decided to venture out in the late afternoon and stick it out for a while. Elisa had one of those days where every 10 minutes there's a mood change. I just couldn't keep up. We had a great gigglefest on the bed this morning, then a hissy fit about changing her diaper. We danced and played in her room for over an hour and then she wanted things out of the bathroom that she can't play with. It was a vicious cycle most of the day. So I left the house knowing we might not last long in the sweltering heat. But hey, with a pitcher of white sangria in tow, it was worth a try! Of course in this neighborhood it is always easy to run into friends and before we'd even made it to the park, we saw a fellow Sunnymom and her son who were off to the same event. I found a few more takers for my sangria and for a few minutes, we were all sitting and sipping and the kids were playing. Now this is more like it, I thought.

But of course, the day was not over and there were more meltdowns to come. The bouncy castle and jumpy slide were fascinating to Elisa (her first time!) but also terrifying. She did not love the freedom to move and instead clung to the mesh netting and begged me to get her out. Fine. Then there was a grassy meltdown when I tried to get her to leave that area. Right, so you're terrified, but you want to go again? Makes perfect sense to a two year old. There was more playing, splashing in water. A good time and then another hissy fit inside the bathroom because she couldn't wash her hands in the sink at the very minute my turn came to use the stall. Ahhhh...the sweat was rolling off my face and I felt like screaming, but somehow we talked through it and did okay. Out we went with clean hands afterall, quickly followed by another timeout in her stroller (the second this week) for sitting and crying over nothing. I had to laugh that this day just kept up the pace--happy, sad, happy, mad--all damn day. But just when I think we need to pack it in, Elisa perked up and played all through my dinner and then some. By 8 p.m. I was sure the real meltdown of the day was yet to come, but *surprise* she did fine getting home and getting a bath. In bed by 9 p.m. and now I've showered again too. Something about this heat makes you crazy and tired, and I for one am beat.

High Flyin'

Within the first six months of her life, Elisa had been on nearly 20 airplane rides. With a papa who flies for a living, this didn't seem all that odd, but for the average baby, it was a lot. Now with nearly two years down, I have lost track of all the ups and downs of our air travel. Suffice it to say, we have continued to use our flight benefits almost as much as we did before we had Elisa. The locations may have changed (with more trips to see the family in North Carolina), but we've grown accustomed to the ins and outs of LaGuardia and can finesse that airport from curbside to gateside in about 25 minutes. It's become old hat.

But one thing that still prompts some dread when I think about traveling is international flying. The fatigue of jetlag and uncertainty of Elisa's sleeping is never something I feel I have a handle on. With both trips to Spain so far, we've managed to just survive and I've felt a bit like a cage fighter stepping out of the ring. I might be bloodied and bruised, but God damn it, I'm ALIVE! Curiously, both times we returned from Spain, Elisa had pretty decent flights back--even though they are longer (clocking in right around 8 1/2 hours). It's just a marathon of occupying her, feeding her, entertaining her and yes, restraining her. I feel like maybe things are starting to turn a corner with her nearing 2 and getting more acclimated to sitting in her own seat for longer periods and generally having a bit more patience with the whole routine of air travel (check-in, security, and pacing before boarding). But once we're on the plane, it's sometimes feels like I don't know which child I'm going to get. Because I don't. So here's hoping that the laptop and some Yo Gabba Gabba videos and maybe a slideshow of her pics will be enough to keep her happy this go around. I know all about the buying new toys and wrapping them trick, but who has the time for that? If you have any other great ideas or tricks for getting them to sleep in their own seat, let me know. I'm all ears.

Midway Point

This week feels like the midway point of the summer for us. So far we've been to North Carolina a few times to visit the beach and family, had lots of lazy afternoons in the park, and managed to take a few long walks in the city. Now, we're gearing up for the second half in Spain and trying to sneak in a few more playdates before we leave next Wednesday. Yesterday after the dark skies and rain storms, we hit the park and found a few friends had the same idea. For a while it was just the six of us. How nice. Alexandre brought along his new golf club set which was a big hit with these crazy girls.

Elisa actually played in her crib through most of her naptime yesterday, so I wasn't really sure how rested she was until we hit the park. Then nearly everything became an annoyance to her--the swingset was closed off, the muddy puddles were too appealing, and sharing wasn't high on her priorities. But we held on for a little while and when we made it home and finished the bath, she got a second wind of sorts. She ate, watched some Dora and then off to jump on my bed for a while before hitting hers. I love how she tells me "no, night night. sit. mom. night night" when she wants me to lay down next to her on our bed. She loves being buried beneath the pillows and having me tickle her incessantly. I found myself laughing and really enjoying that moment last night and it was a nice relief from the to-do list stress, delayed dental appointment and the craziness of life. Yes, a few more minutes to play were okay by me.

Countdown...

Counting in Spanish and the World Cup? What's not to love?

301

Two years and three hundred posts. That's how long I've been blogging. I guess there is something kind of fun about marking the time this way. It's certainly helped me since I lost my job which is why I went from 5 or 6 posts a month to a good 15-20. It's not for everyone, but I find that blogging about my life with Elisa keeps me focused on the positive side of parenting mostly. It's easy to feel the drudgery of staying at home and to get upset when there are so many constant challenges to your authority and you're never sure if you're actually doing the right thing. This morning Nacho got to try his hand at taming the beast while she refused to stop long enough to get changed and ready to leave the house. It's not always easy and I think he was a little surprised at her stubbornness. But we made it out eventually and got some errands done in the city--all before 11am! Afterwards, there was just enough time to stop by the Billy Johnson playground just north of the Central Park Zoo before she collapsed in a heap. I guess we had more stamina than she did today which means that home by noon to nap was a good idea. All her partying yesterday during the World Cup final must be catching up with her. Maybe I'll take a siesta too.

There just aren't words...

Sean, Mark and Jordan in Wilmington, NC - Summer 2009 (Photo courtesy of Stacey Sprenz)

Sometimes there just aren't words for what life throws at you. Yesterday morning I found out that a good friend of my sister lost her husband in a hit and run accident. It was the kind of news that just knocks the wind out of your sails and makes you sick to your stomach with thoughts of what that family is going through now. Life is so fragile. I think about this all the time in relation to being a mother, but when you see it up close, it's just frightening and sad. I don't remember the last time I saw the family--it's probably been a decade or so--and they have a six year old son now. They were the kind of people you want to see more of, so kind and always welcoming to my sister and her family. In fact, Stace and the kids were just up for a long weekend in February to hang out with them, and I remember seeing photos and thinking, gosh, they have done so well for themselves. They just oozed happiness. And now that is gone. I know it will return one day, but it won't be the same. The husband and father that made them a family won't be there. This idea haunts me, and yet I know from Nacho's experience losing his dad as an infant, that families do heal. I don't know how, but they do.

For more about Sean's life and their family's unique legacy of adoption and philanthropy, please visit: http://kayfoundation.com/

Potty training

First, you bring the baby to the bathroom...

Then you sniff her pants to see if she has gone poop...

Then you decide that no, she hasn't, so I guess she better go on the potty...

And finally, you shove her entire body in the potty chair.

Who knew it was this easy??

Oh, the faces we've seen

I've been trying to put my finger on it for a while now, but something has yet again shifted in the way Elisa relates to the world. She is a natural actress which as a baby was more amusing than anything else. She made faces at us and we playfully made them back. Nowadays though, she is more likely to tell a story with an accompanying emotion and there is no denying that she often wants you to feel her pain. Literally. If she has fallen and gotten an "owie," she might want to show it to you with a sad, furrowed brow while she bumps or taps you to imitate how it happened. If she is mad or frustrated, she will clinch her teeth and open her eyes wide while she stares you down and debates what object to throw (usually at you). And if she's happy, well, the grin just isn't big enough to capture all that joy.

It's definitely a challenge to keep all these various emotions in check, never mind trying to keep my own feelings from peaking at times. We're still doing a lot of timeouts in her crib when she resorts to kicking and screaming and flailing about rather than talking. But more and more, we get to see what she's really feeling with her gestures and she uses lots of little words and phrases so we get the idea. "Hungee. Eat." "Mo milk." "Go. Bye bye. Shoes." "My pillow." It's fun to hear these again and again and to realize when new words are more than just sounds. She is playing with language the way she has always played--with intensity. Sometimes it's hard to remember that another few months will bring even more linguistic clarity, but I'm starting to see it. In the meantime, we are miming our way through the emotions and trying not to laugh when she scowls and desperately says "yeah" to an offer for help. Oh, this girl.

Which came first?

After a recent discussion on my playgroup list-serv, I was happy to note that I'm not the only one dealing with bedtime issues. It seems that no matter what stage we're in, or what milestone is next, sleep is still the first and most important topic of conversation. And we're 2 years into this, people! In her infancy, Elisa was not a good sleeper, had colic and did not want to go gently into that goodnight. I think perhaps it was mastering her own unique soothing skills (through nights of endless screaming and my crying) that allowed her to arrive at a place around 4 months of age where she could consistently get 11-12 hours of sleep. I read an excerpt of a sleep study not long ago that upheld this idea. Apparently colicky babies are some of the best sleepers later in toddlerhood because of their hard fought adaptability and self-soothing habits. Elisa has also been a solid thumbsucker since about that same time and I don't regret her choice. Ask me again in 2 more years, but for now, it works.

So it was with some intrigue that I read an article on Motherlode yesterday about bedtimes and the impact of a mother's mood on the baby's sleep habits. Yes, mothers. Not parents, but don't get me started on that. The point of the study, which included 39 mothers being videotaped putting their kids down for bed, was to see if the emotional state of the mother affected the quality of her child's sleep. And lo and behold it did. Mothers who were angry or stressed or not emotionally connecting had children who slept worse. Is this real? Is this fair to burden us with yet another way we can completely fuck things up?

Who knows, but it does remind me of something I have long believed to be true. When I'm trying to get something else done, or I'm nervous it will be a fight, or maybe I just don't know how she will do if she's been sick or cranky, it feels like those are the nights Elisa does worse. But when I'm home on my own with her and she and I have a bit of time to hang out together and I can really interact with her one-on-one, it's like bedtime is the easiest part of the day. And even when I think back to her being such a nightmare baby, my mother always seemed to have an easier time getting her to stay asleep. She would laugh and say it was because she had no expectations of her. She was the grandma and she was just enjoying those precious moments. But really, was it because she wasn't hormonally stressed out and frustrated? Is the documented link between colic and depression in new mothers yet another bit of evidence in this puzzle? I'll probably never know what did it for us, but I do think this is something to consider. And maybe it will help me take a deep breath and focus on Elisa when we're having one of those evenings where it's all going a little haywire. Maybe we can get better sleep that way. It's worth a shot.

The 4th of July Spectacular!

What a day! The 4th of July might have been the first day of the summer where everything we hoped to do was well executed and Elisa obliged without too much toddler craziness. Usually, we can push her limits, but we pay for it later. But yesterday was a pretty awesome day all around. We started at Topsail beach where I hadn't been in ages, then had a nice tapas style dinner at Stacey's and made it to fireworks on the Marine Corps base at Camp Lejeune. In typical fashion, I played the whole day out many times, mulling over whether to send Elisa home with Grandma and Grandpa before the big evening out, or just let her stay up and see what happened. Knowing we would be hitting the road for the Raleigh-Durham airport early this morning was making me think it would be better to let her get some rest and avoid the whole melting down scenario at the late bedtime and loud festivities. But that just didn't feel like fun. So we went for it, and Elisa rolled along with the evening entertaining us all with her camera hogging and practicing her ear plugging before the loud noises had even begun. It was a memorable night for Elisa's first firework celebrations and I can see her enjoying them in NYC next year.

Fortunately, our flight options were a bit better than expected when we checked last night and we were able to head out at a more respectable hour this morning, so the late night didn't lead to an early morning after all. Elisa was up at her normal time and held on during the flight, only to land around 2:30 p.m. and pass out. She was so sound asleep on the way upstairs this afternoon that I even changed her diaper without waking her up. Seriously out. With the nearly 100 degree temps today, we were all feeling lethargic so I'm glad it was a lazy day at home. Let's see what the rest of the week and the continuing heat wave brings. Hopefully a Spanish futbol victory on Wednesday (yes, I'm that excited!) and playgroup in the morning. Feels good to be home, and I'm hoping we can pack a lot more fun into the next two weeks before we take off for the rest of the summer. Where did the time go?

Victory all around

Saturday's trip to the farmer's market was a success with us finding headed shrimp on top of the delicious produce we bought. It's great to see so many communities embrace the idea of local food and in the summertime it's hard to beat the fresh tomatoes, corn and peaches that are popping up everywhere around here. Elisa wandered around the market like a drunken fool dancing and stuffing chocolate croissant in her face, so cousin Mia had to help get her back under control. Here is a shot of Mia's new carrying move. Fortunately, Elisa knows how to cling...

Later, back at Grandma's the cousins were all smiles as they played. Maybe the fact that Spain won their pivotal tournament game against Paraguay helped. Elisa only knows how to scream "Gol!" when she sees futbol on TV, but I think if Spain wins the World Cup she might officially fall in love with the sport. At least we can tell Papa that.

We took a tour through Grandma's garden and found some lovely flowers and lots of things sprouting up in the backyard. The worms have found most of her tomatoes, but the zucchini were gorgeous and there are acorn squash and peppers dangling on the vines.

It feels like some days we try to cram too much into an afternoon, but when Elisa saw the pool and started chanting "agua! agua!" I figured I might want to kill an hour with an easy solution. Mia is always up for helping me out so it made the splashing twice the fun.

And finally, while we were tromping and splashing through the backyard, Papa was slaving away in the kitchen making us a dinner to remember. Here is the paella that he has perfected over the past 6 months. A beautiful dish to finish of the day. Viva España!