Nacho snapped this photo of Elisa and me before we drove him to the airport today. It was a very relaxing morning, noshing on donuts and hanging around the apartment before we had to say our goodbyes. Yesterday was such a calm, leisurely day capped off with dinner at our favorite Mexican joint, De Mole, that I really didn't need a big production for Mother's Day. We swung by the park on the way back from seeing Nacho off, and I got to spend a couple of hours chatting and hanging out with some of our neighborhood pals. Elisa was off and running and had a good time without needing me to watch over her too closely. It just felt like the day unfolded as it should and this girl's smile really warmed my heart. After all that exercise, she succumbed to her nap without much fight and I rested up myself. Even though we've had a few days of post-nap grumpiness, today Elisa was almost completely drama-free! I'll take it!
And yet as I look at this photo of the two of us, I can't help but think about what will come by next May. I've found myself getting a bit over confident lately with my mothering capabilities. On a date night a few weeks ago, I sat next to a table of newbie parents. The mother wouldn't stop making pronouncements about how they "never get out anymore" or how this was her "first glass of wine in a year!" She went on and on about how she still couldn't believe they had a real, live child and wondered aloud how their little girl's personality would develop in the coming months and years. It was all I could do to listen without offering up my own take on things. I sat there silently smug about having come through that trial by fire and having seen my little baby become a full fledged girl. Her questions and concerns seemed so naive to my wiser ears. Yet, even as I patted my belly and thought she might just be talking loudly for my benefit (perhaps thinking I was experiencing pregnancy for the first time--silly woman), a part of me realized that going down this road a second time doesn't mean it's all figured out. Far from it. I've had such a different pregnancy from the one I had with Elisa. Physically it's been harder with symptoms coming on sooner and making me more miserable faster. The swelling and pain in my legs is almost unbearable without compression stockings on all day, and I know I've got two more brutal months ahead. And although I feel fully immersed in motherhood as a lifestyle, I have no idea how to mother two kids. How will I juggle a preschooler and an infant with completely different schedules/priorities/temperaments? Hopefully by next Mother's Day I can answer those questions and the new ones I don't even know exist yet. I must remember to stay humble and accept that this new baby is not the same as the first one. Because if there's anything that becoming a mother has taught me, it's humility. Every single day. Not the easiest of paths in life, and now I can say not the best path for everyone. But for me, it's been a defining one. I am a mother and I love it. Not a bad thing to remember on a breezy Sunday in May.
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