For a while now, people have been asking if Elisa knows much about the baby on the way. If she really "gets it." And generally, my response has been no. As in, she has no clue what kind of chaos and terror is on the way. An exaggeration? We shall see. We do, of course, talk a lot about the "baby" and I tell her the baby is in my tummy and ask if she wants to feel her kick. Lately, she's been a bit more interested in this idea and will even on occasion feel my tummy for two nanoseconds before she declares she's felt her kick. So the other day as we laid in bed reading our respective books, Elisa asked again about the baby and wanted to touch my belly. Then she lifted her shirt and told me to touch her stomach. Why? I asked. "Because I have a baby sister in my belly." Riiiight.
Buying a few books on the subject has helped clarify things a bit this week, I think. A neighbor recommended one about sisters by Brooke Shields called "Welcome to Your World, Baby" and I found another one called "I'm a Big Sister" by Joanna Cole. Both are very sweet and easy to follow for a three year old, but I really like the way the second one emphasizes how special the big sister is. It seems like Elisa has picked up on that theme too because she's now routinely calling herself a big sister and today she kissed my stomach and said hello to the baby without any prompting. Who knows, maybe we are making some progress here. We talk about how the baby will be coming home with us soon and how she will probably cry and sometimes laugh and how we will have to be quiet when the baby sleeps. I even bought Elisa a little tent at IKEA recently thinking it might be a good "quiet spot" for her to sit in and read or play while the baby is napping. No matter what though, I'm sure all my ideas and planning about this introduction will go out the window when I'm presented with the reality of two kids. TWO. It's starting to feel more real and some days I'm giddy with the thought and others I feel overwhelmed with the challenge. Seeing a friend post pics this week of her second, a sweet baby boy, made me realize it's all happening. All these months of talking and moaning about pregnancy are heading toward those final weeks of having only one child at home. And just like I felt when I was pregnant the first time, I have the distinct feeling that this is the easiest time I'll have for the next few years. I'm conscious of wanting to enjoy it and make the most of our outings with just one crazy girl. And yet, I'm also incredibly eager to meet this new little person and see her cuddled up in her big sister's arms. What a sight that will be.
3 comments:
From one big sister to another....tell Elisa I know she will be great at it! I remember being terrified and excited to do it all again. You'll settle in to the new life soon...just take it one day at a time...and enjoy. They grow up WAAAAAY too fast. Love you!
You're doing great, and she'll do great with being a big sister, too. I think you are right to prep her a bit with books, but you are also right that she'll have no idea how much her world is going to change until it does. Even Georgia, now that she's faced with doing it over again, is all excited and seems to have zero recollection of what a big change that was for her, and how much of mommy's attention a new sibling really took! Maybe selective memory is a good thing in this case.
Good luck. Also, I don't know if you've been feeling this way, but it's 100% normal to feel both excited for new baby, and also a bit nostalgic or almost remorseful about changing from a family of 3 to 4. I am having those feelings again, wondering if I've "messed up" what we've got going on here by bringing a new person into the fold, but I know that a year from now, I won't even be able to fathom it any other way! So it's all good.
Thanks, ladies. Yes, I'm having a bit of that mixed emotion stuff these days. It's great being Elisa's mom, but being a new mom to a totally different kid is going to feel so WEIRD! Exciting and nauseating at the same time. And Elisa is totally oblivious for now. She seems really happy about the idea of being a big
sister when we show her other kids with their siblings. And that has given me some glimpse of her attitude, but by the second day of crying, she'll probably be ready to return her sister and get a puppy instead. I know I'm rushing ahead in my mind, but I really look forward to seeing them in another year or two and that will be the payoff of moving from a family of 3 to 4. Playing together!
Can't wait.
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