Taking Elisa to her first pediatrician's visit on Friday was almost a sociological experiment more than a trip to the doctor. The waiting room quickly filled up with moms, babies and toddlers who were all eyeing one another and taking stock of each's strengths and weaknesses. I was amazed by one Aussie woman's three abnormally tall and almost overly developed children who were 6mos, 3 yrs, and 5 yrs but looked much more like a 1 yr old, 5 yr old and 8 yr old. When she questioned the age of a young Indian woman's son (who turned out to be 9 mos. old but way smaller than her freakish daughter) the mother explained that her son was small for his age, but that she and her husband were both "small people." To which the Aussie replied, "Well, you're not that small..." and then followed it with the comment that even though he was small, the boy didn't appear to have anything "developmentally wrong" with him. Ouch. It was such a little exchange but so full of competitive mothering and sly digs. When the Indian woman mentioned she was there for her son's allergic reaction, she said, "You can't see it, but I can see it."
I kept my mouth mostly shut throughout this waiting room game, except to talk to a young Orthodox woman whose 6 mos. old daughter Yael was a fair little girl, but hardly "tiny" for her age as her mother suggested. When she asked how old Elisa was and I responded "she was born on Sunday," the mother expressed disbelief that I was out and about and looking so well. I thanked her, and then she explained that with her first baby, she suffered from some post-partum depression and plus she'd had an episiotomy so she wasn't up to much the first week. When she stopped and said, "did you have one?" and I said, "yeah, but you know, you just keep going" she was again slightly taken aback. I guess that's a little confidence booster in the new world I'm entering. To hear other mothers lamenting things I seem to be taking in stride must mean I'm doing something right. And if not, I'm sure they'll tell me that too.
2 comments:
ann - you do look great!
Ahhh yes, the waiting room. Soon it will be the park, the grocery store checkout line, and the play group. Moms have that way of communicating as if they were the only ones to have EVER gone through childbirth, etc. Everything is a competition...whether you want it to be or not. Not that I haven't joined a conversation...or two...but it is certainly interesting to watch. I like to psycho analyze them all...it's a great past time!
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