Twice as nice

Today was the day I've been waiting for since I found out I was pregnant again. We had our mid-pregnancy anatomy scan this morning at the hospital and it was like waking up on Christmas morning with all the accompanying anticipation. I suppose there aren't a lot of opportunities to be truly surprised anymore, but I'm not sure I could have waited 20 more weeks to find out the baby's gender. This already felt like an eternity wanting to know who was going to complete our family. So off we went with Elisa in tow in a surprisingly good mood. By mid-morning we were situated in the sonogram exam room and Nacho had the honor of trying to keep Elisa in line and away from my belly after sticking her hand in the gooey gel that coated me. At first, I think she expected the doctor was for her, but we kept repeating that this was mama's doctor and that we were going to get to see the baby on the TV screen. She really couldn't care less, but she did ask about the baby a little as we watched all the measurements and body parts pointed out onscreen.

As the minutes ticked by, I could tell the tech was getting most of the anatomy scan completed without a good view of the front of the baby's lower half. She joked a few times about this "shy" baby and I started to feel the tension of all my desires to know the sex trying not to bubble to the surface. I tried to clear my head and lower all expectations, but there is something about being so close to knowing and not finding out that just drives you mad. I MUST find out today, I kept thinking without wanting to. I could feel that the time was dwindling down and then the tech suggested I empty my bladder and come back in to see if that helped move the baby. Fine. Done. But no luck. Then she had me lay on my side for a few minutes (while she surfed the Internet oddly enough), but that didn't appear to do much either. And then, just as she was zooming in and out one more time, the baby slowly moved around and she seemed to focus on something. I could tell we were getting a view from beneath the baby and I'm sure I held my breath as the tech slowed things down and started to hold the wand still. This was it. We were so close.

And then I could see the lines. Three little lines. "A girl," she said. And there it was on screen for all of us to see. "So pretty definitive?" I asked. "Yes." But still, it didn't feel real. A little sister for Elisa. Another girl to help outnumber Nacho in our home. The missing piece of our puzzle. This was it. And to be completely honest, there was a small tinge of disappointment as I weighed all this in my mind. Something about the finality of knowing and realizing that this is most likely our last child together. Now we know we won't get to experience having a boy. And yet, I am one of two sisters, and in many ways I know I wanted Elisa to have the chance to be and have a sister. It's what I have had and I consider myself very fortunate to be the little sister. I can already picture the room they will share all decked out in its girlishness, sharing clothes and toys and being best friends. And something about that just feels right. This is the baby we've been waiting for and she's just perfect.