Memory Mondays Revisited

I suppose it's only fitting that after months of down time with no ideas, I picked a very busy month to start a blogging theme. My idea to revisit an old pic every Monday in November has come to a screeching halt (after only one week). But in fairness, I was traveling last week (to Kansas City) and this week (to California), so things have been a bit of a blur. We made it into Twentynine Palms, CA last night after a relatively painless trek which included two flights (connecting in Phoenix) and an hour's worth of driving from Palm Springs. Elisa impressed me by actually falling asleep on the second flight and staying down through all the shuffling around. It made the very long day much more manageable. So back to the topic at hand, we are so happy to celebrate an early Thanksgiving here with Stace and the family. Looking back at Elisa in November 2008, I am amazed by how small and almost unrecognizable she was...

The euphoria of having a newborn was giving way to the sheer exhaustion of caring for a baby and I remember such a mix of feelings when I looked at her. I loved her like no other and yet, I wanted her to be different. I wanted her to sleep. I wanted her to not cry so much. I wanted her to eat without screaming in pain afterwards. We were at our wit's end with the colic and craziness of the third month and there was no end in sight. Our best nights were getting 4 or 5 hours worth of sleep around 5 a.m. Not exactly what I was hoping for, yet I had no idea how to change it. My life was upside down and inside out. I was a zombie and I just wanted to do something familiar--eat a hot meal, sleep in, or just go out for a nice evening. But it wasn't to be. How had no one told me about this, I wondered? How did I get so tricked by this beautiful little girl? It felt like such a roller coaster. I would cry tears of love and amazement feeding her quietly at 4 a.m., yet she could make me rage after an hour of non-stop fussing. Why wouldn't she sleep? I wanted to hear that 4 months was the magic mark. That she would just figure out everything I wanted her to do and wake up a new baby. And over the course of the next few weeks, she really did begin to change. We stopped breastfeeding around this time and after about 5 days of Nutramigen, she was a different baby. She was sleeping in long stretches without the wild screaming and tummy pains, and within a month, she was a much more predictable baby. My life was livable again. I felt giddy about seeing her wake up in the morning. What a difference sleep made! There was so much to be thankful for.