Across Two Aprils

Last Year - End of April:

This Year - End of April:

Sometimes my favorite game to play by myself is Then and Now. It's easy enough. I sit and daydream and think "What was I doing a year ago? And how much has life changed since then?" Last year when I did this I was mostly remembering my pregnancy and thinking how easy everything was when I could carry Elisa around inside of me and she couldn't complain if I worked late or had curry for dinner. And then last fall, I was remembering how it felt to hold this tiny little newborn baby and wonder how I could keep up with all of her changes. I was so overwhelmed by motherhood. And now I sit and think about the renewal of last spring and how it felt like I was starting to get the hang of this baby stuff. I was venturing out more and more on my own with Elisa (when Nacho was working) and I was beginning to really connect with some of the other moms in my neighborhood. Since then, I have lost a job and gained everything else--greater peace of mind, more quality time with my family and the feeling that I am part of my community. We just joined the local organic produce co-op and I am excited about the summer ahead. Our kids are all growing up and some are already having their second babies and it makes me feel like this is what these years are about. Yes, it's different from my pre-baby existence and sometimes harder in ways I couldn't have anticipated, but there is a sense of progress. Life is moving forward. If I ever doubted it, all I have to do is look back at that little girl just sprouting a tooth last April and see how wide her toothy grin is now.