Lookin' good

This afternoon we went out for brunch to our favorite local Mexican place, De Mole, along with our good friends Dan and Dessi. Back in the day, we all worked together and had a fabulous time sharing meals and generally commiserating about work and life. These days, the three of us get together all too rarely so this was a special treat. The fact that Dessi is moving out of state tomorrow made it especially bittersweet. She is expecting her first child (also a girl!) this summer and we had so many things to catch up on and chat about. It takes me back to the feeling I had two years ago--so much anticipation and all the joy of the unknown. Staring at the sonograms for a glimpse of what your baby will look like, the newness of the first kicks, the waking at all hours of the night and being unable to sleep. Ah, yes, it feels like it was only yesterday. It doesn't feel real to be sitting there talking about my 18 month old. How did I get here? And more importantly, am I any wiser? What can I tell a soon-to-be mom?

Elisa waiting for the guacamole to arrive.
Dan and Dessi striking a pose (and me in the upper left corner snapping away)
Cool kid and cool Dan (below).

Maybe it's the cynic in me, but there is something about new parenthood that defies any introduction. I don't think any two people experience it the same and to taint it with your own discoveries is almost impolite. Yet, I want to be helpful. I want to remember to tell her the things that I wish I had known--to be kinder to myself, to believe that I would sleep again, to kiss your husband and remember that he's the one that got you into this mess, to not stress about where or how the baby sleeps in the first few months. There were no long-term patterns established by a night or two in the swing or bouncy chair. The goal was to survive. Just survive (and forget doing it gracefully, as my mother said). And try not to worry when you feel like you've made a terrible mistake and had a perfectly good life before this unpredictable, demanding baby ruined it all. Oh yes, I remember those days (and nights). It all felt like it would last forever and I would never know how to cope. But amazingly, I'm still here and life really did get better. Every six months, it felt like there was another epiphany of parenthood and it just got easier. And now, a year and a half into this experiment, we are so glad to be looking ahead towards all the milestones of toddlerdom. New language, more engagement in activities, new places to see and seasons to unfold (hurry up, spring!). I know Dessi will find her own way to this spot and beyond, and I hope to see her again soon to hear all about it.