And it's not even Halloween...yet

I'm glad Halloween is almost here because man, I'm tired of all this fun. On Friday we kicked off the weekend with a party at Elisa's preschool, Amazing Magic Beans. I've written briefly before about how much I like the school, and how well Elisa is doing there. It's been a wonderful change for both of us and getting to see her hang out there for a bit was cool. At one point she asked me, "Mom, are you going to stay?" I think she got a little shy being with us, but we still had fun icing cupcakes, coloring Halloween pictures and taking a turn with the homemade piñata. Her "princess pirate" costume was low on effort (I'm still not feeling too inspired about the whole dress up thing), but I think it achieved its goal. And hey, she kept the hat on and the sword in her belt. I say victory all around!

By mid-day Saturday, the weather had turned unseasonably cold and snowy. Yes, SNOWY. I couldn't believe my eyes looking out the window. It was a gusty, wet snow with lots of beauty, but little sticking power. Elisa wanted to go for a walk in it and so Nacho obliged. They headed to the playground at P.S. 150 where I think they were pretty much on their own. A nice break in this housebound weekend and Elisa loved telling me all about the snowman she made.

Later that night we had another Halloween/Birthday party to attend in honor of Zara's third birthday. Her mom Tania always has the most creative party themes and costumes and she didn't disappoint this year with an International/UN Delegate party for the kids. Elisa opted for a more worldly costume and went as a futbol player from the Spanish national team. Another low key costume from this lazy momma, but hey, it was snowing out and we walked 8 blocks in the slush to get there. Can I just say I'm sooooo happy it wasn't actually Halloween. That weather sucked. But we managed to get there fast and let our socks dry as the party carried us away. I didn't see much of Elisa once we arrived, and Carolina was a total party girl hanging out in her car seat in the corner. It was the perfect hands-off affair. Nacho and I both managed to talk and mingle and enjoy the evening. Having two kids really hasn't been double the work--at least not yet. I think it also helps that I'm not freaking out about things as much this time around, but really, it's evenings like this that make it feel like life is pretty sweet. We got out, had a good time and made it home by bedtime. See how good we're getting at this stuff?

And now we have a day of rest in between all these festivities to catch our breath, rest up and plan the next outfit. I think if the weather stays dry and warmer, Elisa will show off her pirate costume again. She definitely has more of an idea of what's in store this year, and we've been practicing saying "trick-or-treat." Today I added the ever important "smell my feet, give me something good to eat" and she erupted into a fit of giggles. Now we'll see if we can work on that for tomorrow night. Twenty four hours to go!

Who me?

Carolina is pretty awesome. So awesome in fact that just this week she decided to switch things up a bit and go to bed around 7:30 p.m. Of course this started the very day that I asked another mom friend who has a little guy a few months older than her, so when do they start going down earlier at night? Um, apparently, now. Yeah, so it's almost her 3rd month birthday and she's totally getting her babyhood going. No more of this newborn stuff. I think she's really becoming a little girlie complete with a cooing/singing/screeching whenever she's especially tickled which is usually during her diaper change and bit after her feedings. She has such a sweet voice. I suppose the schedule change will start to make more sense when we get Elisa to bed a little earlier too. But for now it's kind of throwing a wrench in my wake once feeding schedule. Last night I was up at 1:30 a.m. and then again at 6:30 a.m. Not the best hours, but then we've been pretty spoiled with her 10:30 p.m. to 5:30 a.m. schedule these past few weeks. And before I get too bent out of shape about this new routine, I just have to remember it too will change soon. It always does.

Family time

This past week Nacho's aunts Kiki and Pauli and his uncle Ignacio were in town to visit us for a few days. It was a last minute trip spurred on by the fact that his schedule included a four day stretch off so we more than happy to have them fly over to meet Carolina and hang out with Elisa for a bit. They were all clearly smitten with this newest little girl and of course, equally amused by the big girl's antics. Elisa feigned shyness for a few minutes upon seeing them again, but soon she was in her element dancing and hula-hooping for them and stealing the spotlight from her little sister. She's an expert at that. Considering we're just ending our third month getting to know this girl, it's kind of amazing that we are functioning so well and that it feels like we have a real sense of life carrying on. Nacho played tour guide for a few hours each day and we made our big trek up north by car and then before we knew it, our visitors were packing up to leave. But not before I broke out the camera for a little photo shoot...

As always, it's such a joy to share your children with family who love them the same way you do. There is something so comforting about that. It's been wonderful to see Elisa interact with her great-aunts and great-uncle in a way that shows them she knows what they are saying (even if she's not speaking much Spanish back). I know in time she will. But for now, the visit was fun and a great introduction for Carolina who seemed to be very relaxed and content to rest on laps and generally take it all in. We're hoping to get over to Spain later this winter for a quick visit when Nacho's schedule opens up again. And although we might not be there for the holidays, there will be lots of celebrating when we finally make it. Time with family is always worth celebrating, but especially when it means a long trip with eager faces waiting on the other side.

Autumn on the rise

Fall is officially upon us and I couldn't be more pleased. Not only are the leaves changing and falling all over the neighborhood, but it's also a beautiful time of year to go for a drive and see some of the colors washing over the Northeast. With Nacho's aunts and uncle visiting from Madrid this past week, I thought it would be a perfect excuse to show them the beauty of a New England fall drive. If you remember our trip last year (you can click here for the highlights), the route goes all the way to Burlington, VT which is where we ventured before jaunting up to Montreal for a couple of days. I really love that drive and since this is our third time making it, I can say with authority it's a must-do for October if you are looking for fall colors. So off we went yesterday morning for a jog up Route 7 into Connecticut in our rented minivan. Oh yes. We bit the bullet and opted for the 7 passenger car since that's how many of us there were! Could have driven our car too and rented something smaller, but it was kind of fun to truck around in the family car. Nacho might not admit it was "cool" but he did look pretty comfy in his captain's chair. Our first stop was lunch in New Milford at the Cookhouse restaurant, a simple bbq joint with lots of options and space for this entourage. I was able to time Carolina's first feeding with this pit stop, so it felt like the day was already running smoothly. Having a big wooden booth for Elisa to stand and dance around in was an extra perk. She was just coming down with something the night before which was kind of tricky. A low grade fever usually doesn't make traveling all that easy--or even necessary--but I wanted to give it a try. Luckily, she woke up rarin' to go, so I made sure to have her ibuprofen on hand and she was in a pretty decent mood the whole day. Clearly, she enjoyed getting out in the woods for our first walk post-lunch to Lovers Leap State Park.

This was a small turn off I noticed as we neared New Milford and after asking the waiter, I was curious enough to backtrack and take a little walk. The beautiful red metal Falls Bridge was constructed in 1895 and has recently gone through a renovation making it a gorgeous little overlook along the river. It was a perfect place to drag Carolina's car seat since we were only steps from the parking lot and wouldn't be staying long. Sometimes you just gotta get that family pic! Back in the car, we drove on up towards Kent, CT and stopped at Bulls Bridge just before hitting the village. This bridge was a surprise to us the first time we came up Route 7 back in 2005 and it has been a highlight each time. It's just fun to walk through and peek out over the raging waters below.

Carolina stayed put in the van that time and we took turns hanging out with her. She was such a trouper yesterday. It definitely felt like she was making things easy on me since she really ate and slept and slept some more all day long. Only as we neared the end of the day did she get even a little bit fussy as we shopped at the mall in Danbury, but that was okay. She earned it. Most of the day was a delight without having to worry about her needs. Now if only her sister could go with the flow as well. As we drove on to the quaint little village of Kent, I was again reminded of how much I love this part of the country. It's so easy to be in another state in just an hour and you have a totally different feel in that woodsy environment. It's one of the best things about living in New York City--that it gives you a new appreciation for nature and the lushness of an autumn walk in the woods. I still don't think I could move up there, but if I did, Kent might be high on my list of places. It has a small central shopping district, some lovely Victorian homes and two stores with homemade chocolate. Yeah, I could handle that.

After topping off with a mochachino and a look around the shops, we zoomed up the road a bit further to Kent Falls State Park. This was really my focal point for the day, but like all good trips it kind of just became part of a perfectly relaxed plan. Everywhere we stopped felt like a nice little break and we didn't have to rush. We made it there in the twilight of the day when the air was turning a bit cool and Carolina need to eat again. So I sat this one out in the car while the rest hiked up to see the falls and enjoy the colorful views back towards the road. Elisa was taking a turn again with her fever starting to creep back and she was clearly chilled (notice the purplish lips). But she loved the wide open space near the base of the falls. Last year we hung out on that lawn and laughed and played as the sun waned. I hope we can do that with both girls next fall. Yes, I'm already planning the trip...

I'm vanilla

So it finally happened. We've entered the dangerous stage of "Things-she-says-in-public-that- make-you-cringe." Oh, the joy of having a sassy three year old. The first time was a few months ago when Elisa suddenly made a loud proclamation that the man next to us in the restaurant was "biiiiig." In typical Elisa fashion, she seemed proud of her astute assessment of this poor man's girth. And yes, indeed, he was big. I opted to say nothing that time since I wasn't sure what to add to her comment and I wasn't entirely sure he'd heard her either. A close call which I decided was better to let go. No teachable moments for me, please. But the next occasion for her amazing powers of observation was a bit more questionable. We were coming home from North Carolina and sitting just next to the airport ticket counter at La Guardia waiting for Nacho to arrive outside with the car. A young South Asian (maybe Indian?) woman with her two sons asked a couple next to us for help with the pay phone nearby. As she turned and started her call, Elisa took note and as she stood right behind her exclaimed, "Mom, she's chocolate." "What?" I asked a bit confused. Elisa pointed and then repeated, "She's chocolate...and you're vanilla." Oh, right. Now we're talking skin color and there was no doubt this woman had a few shades darker on me. But still, where did this idea come from and why was Elisa announcing it as if we were ice cream flavors? So I asked her what that meant, but she gave me only some vague explanation which didn't sound exactly like she was sure what it all meant. And as I was listening I noticed that this woman hadn't heard a thing, but the couple sitting by us clearly had. In fact, the other woman was looking at me seemingly waiting for a response. It was a strange moment since I wasn't sure where Elisa had picked up this idea and I also didn't know how far to take it. So I said something about the fact that we did have different colors and that was cool. Before I'd even finished Elisa had moved on and was running around and talking about something else. Then the other woman eyed me and said her son had made similar comments starting around the age of three. I said that made sense because Elisa was just three and this was all new territory. We smiled and left it at that.

The reason I'm even writing about this now is that I think it's kind of weird that we don't talk more about how people are different and yet the same--including size and skin color. We kind of just wait for it to come up but when it does, it feels kind of unsettling. And honestly, my first instinct was to ignore it. Then I remembered reading a chapter in Nurture Shock about this very thing and how uncomfortable parents of white kids got when they were asked to talk openly about race with their kids even when they were volunteering for a study about race. There's a great summary of that here if you're interested, but the point seemed to be that kids--even babies--notice these things anyway so pretending to be colorblind (like the hilarious Stephen Colbert) is really not helpful. It's not the noticing part that matters anyway, but what we do with that information. So who knows what will come of this new stage in our household or how Elisa will process these differences the next time it comes up. But I'm starting to feel like it's my responsibility to actively acknowledge what she sees and hopefully minimize my own embarrassment as I make sense of it all. It's not easy knowing what to say, but perhaps if I take inspiration from my namesake Vanilla Ice, I'll find the words...

Oh, Carolina

Oh, Carolina. Lately I feel like you are too sweet and quiet to get the attention you deserve. It's easy to put you down and attend to your sister which is good and bad. Good that you are so patient and willing to watch us dance around trying to calm/please/persuade the resident three year old to do what needs done. But bad that you are so often ignored and/or overlooked. Is that just the way it goes? Why is a three year old so much more work? This time I'm very aware of how incredibly easy it is to have a newborn. I mean, what was I thinking before? Yes, Elisa was colicky and she didn't sleep long stretches, but all the nervousness and amount of energy I wasted worrying and trying to bend myself to her will was just that--wasted. She was a baby, for God's sake. Now I see what a baby needs and requires and it's not so bad. Or maybe it's just this baby. Carolina really is a pretty relaxed little girl and I'm so, so thankful we haven't fallen off the cliff this time. I kept waiting and waiting, but now I think it's safe to say we won't be down the colic road again. At 10 weeks she is just a few more shy of her third month which is when I remember so many things gelling for Elisa. She has her good nights (4-5 hour stretches) and her great nights (6-7 hour stretches), but mostly I think she is more consistent overall than her sister ever was. It makes dealing with the two of them on my own possible since I really don't know how I would do this otherwise. When Nacho leaves I don't get that pit-of-my-stomach panic like I used to with Elisa as a baby. Partly that's my own mothering vibe kicking in, but also it's the fact that Carolina makes it seem so much easier. She really doesn't fuss much at all and I'm still getting little naps from her throughout the day. No predictable patterns yet, but she seems to go with us wherever we need and most of the time she only cries when she's getting hungry again. So, thank you, baby. We needed you in our life to show us just how fun this could be.

EDITED TO ADD: We just visited the pediatrician for Carolina's belated 2 month appointment (she's 10 weeks already) and her stats are 12 lbs. 10 oz. and 25 inches long! Definitely following in her sister's footsteps as a tall girl.

Oktoberfest Success!

So last year's festival was kind of a pain in the ass. Elisa was in a foul mood. I was on my own with her and the joy of trying to get her in the mood for the pumpkin patch, brats and music was completely sucked out of me. It was not our best day. Fast forward to this year and I have two little girls to deal with and thus wasn't expecting much. But like all lowered expectations, I was pleasantly surprised and even enjoyed the little outing. To be fair, I enlisted the help of Birdie's folks, Max and Amanda, to make the stroll over a bit more fun and Max really worked his charm cajoling Elisa when I had my hands full. It was a team effort that really paid off. I was able to strap Carolina in the Bjorn and walk around the pumpkin patch helping Elisa pick out the perfect one. And later we went to the painting station to give it that oh-so-pretty makeover. With paint up to her eyeballs (and hair!), it was a pleasure to see her dive right in. I think she took it pretty seriously too from the look on her face. We even managed to sit and eat with friends while the park buzzed with activity and the crowd grew thick. These kind of events always make me appreciate the calm days at the park even more. It wasn't possible to let Elisa run free, and she did start to melt down a little before we could head home. But all in all, it went much better than last year's lame 1-2-3 in-and-out-with-no-pumpkin. We got in, got out and nobody got hurt. Success all around!

Market Day

I've been visiting Jacksonville, NC for the better part of 18 years and can honestly say it's gotten much better over time. My sister and her husband moved here back then with the Marine Corps and by the time my parents retired, they were lured to the coastal area with its quiet beaches and good fishing. Yes, it's still full of too many tattoo parlors and titty bars (I know, I know, can you ever have enough?), but nowadays there is also a good range of stores and eateries and a pretty nice farmers market that runs on the weekend. Since we'd already hit the beach on Day 1, and it had turned a bit chilly Saturday morning, we decided to head over to the market for a quick look around. The emphasis is definitely on local produce and meats, not necessarily organic, but the place also has live music and a few distractions for the kids. Elisa didn't take long to climb up on the tractors out for display. Hopefully that was alright. No one around seemed to mind so we let her sit and act like a regular farm girl for a few minutes.

And Nacho bought us some shaved ices to enjoy while we walked around which were tasty and oh so cheap. Seriously, that mound of juicy red deliciousness was $1. By the time we had a stroll through the market and back to Mr. Piggly Wiggly, Elisa was ready to give him a hug which Nacho found particularly creepy. It did kind of remind me of those movies where the robbers use weird masks. A little too expressionless or something. But anyway, the market was a hit and we got some great squash, goat cheese, pumpkin butter and crab dip. Then back home to nap and enjoy the cool early evening. Even though we've managed to have a few more warm days down South, it's definitely turning into fall every where you go. And since it's probably my favorite season, I'm looking forward to heading back up north in a few days to see the leaves beginning to change and pull on a sweater with jeans again. Year after year, I still love that first crisp, cool air. Hopefully we'll get out of New York City later in the month even for just a day trip to see some of the fall foliage this year since I'm really missing our Route 7 adventure from last October. Oh well, there are many more years ahead to enjoy that with both our girls. I have to remember that sometimes. So for now, I'm trying to stay in the moment and enjoy the little trips out and about. Carolina is 2 months old this weekend and she's definitely proving herself to be a go-along kind of kid which makes it easier to attempt these outings. It's almost the case that it's easier to take her out and just live life than sit at home and hope she falls asleep after each eating cycle. Why is that? If we're out and she's sleeping on and off but generally in a good mood, I find that I'm so much more relaxed. And I'm not nearly as hung up about breastfeeding in public or finding the time to sit and feed her on the go. It's hardly any more effort which constantly amazes me. But then this new little girl is pretty amazing.