The 16 month mark

This week I went back through the blog and read every single post. Some I poured over a couple of times before moving on. It's amazing to me that in just over a year, I have forgotten so much of what life was like those first few months. Is it the protective haze of sleep deprivation that makes my (now) well-rested mind so foggy? I don't know. But I do know that this blog has kept a record of the crazy night feedings, weigh-ins and nap schedules and now the playtimes and city visits with a precision I've come to love. Hearing her 16-month stats at the doctor's office this week, I was slightly shocked to think she weighs 26 lbs. already and measures an incredible 34 1/4 inches tall! Where did my baby go? What I realized re-reading the blog is that even just an entry or two a week can mark noticeable progress which is gratifying when it feels like every day is a repeat performance of the same day.

I guess that's how life is different outside of the office. When one day becomes another, and the groceries are bought, dinner cooked and cleaned up, child fed, bathed and changed, it's easy to forget that life is moving along and tomorrow is a new day. I'm still adjusting to life without checklists and cases opened and closed, but I'm finding the mental space I dedicated to all of that was really bogging me down. I feel much lighter and freer and even calmer moving throughout the day and letting myself ruminate on all of these changes. In many ways, everything seems possible right now. I always like the end of year, beginning of year time to ponder life and the direction it's taken, but this year feels especially meaningful as I find myself without a clear path forward. What I hope to do is travel more, visit with friends and family more and find a way to take better care of myself. My mother's day spa certificate hasn't been used yet, for crying out loud! And whether it's pigeon watching out our living room windows or just reading that same book ONE MORE TIME, I promise to show Elisa how much fun we can have exploring our home and city together. She deserves that right now and so do I.