The week that was

There is nothing fun about moving. Whatever joy I felt at having a new place, new possibilities is completely negated by the amount of sweat and frustration caused by moving every last little thing in my apartment to a new place. I am the worst about keeping bits and pieces of things that I just might one day find a use for, so these events are particularly upsetting for that reason. Once my shame of keeping junk is exposed, I realize that I make everything harder by leading such a life. And I have to pay someone, usually big, burly men, LOTS of money to help me continue on this path.

Luckily, we found some great movers (shout out to Ken's Moving and Storage of Maspeth) and the rest was easy. Oh wait, no. It was hellish and I think I almost killed my mother. Not as in "killed" because I was sick of her, but as in "killed" because she had to clean everything twice and then put all the pieces together. She swears I'm worth it, but I think she really only did it for Elisa. I love the grandma love. It really goes deep.

So, here are a few pics from the beginning of the move in. I love that Nacho and Elisa have almost the same pensive look here. I'm guessing Nacho is wondering when I'm going to make him take me to IKEA for more blinds and Elisa, well, she's probably going to poop. What a week.

Bring on the weekend...

Elisa has been a big help this week as we've been preparing for our move. In fact, she has even helped make sure the boxes are ready for packing by giving them her seal of approval. With the move comes a lot of emotion--most of it happy and excited--but also a few moments of bittersweetness that we are leaving our first apartment in New York and the place where we brought Elisa home from the hospital. Just as we are approaching August and all the flashbacks to last summer and that disorientation of suddenly having a baby in our midst, I am kind of glad to be leaving that haze behind. The new apartment not only looks bright and open and full of possibilities, but seeing Elisa at this stage in her life somehow makes it feel like the perfect place for her to grow up and move around and just enjoy all that space. Of course, we couldn't be entering this exciting weekend without some much needed help from grandma. My mom flew up Wednesday night and has been watching Elisa and helping me clean and pack in preparation for the big day Monday. We've hired movers for the big stuff, but starting tomorrow, we'll be taking carloads over and getting the space ready for the next chapter. More pictures soon!

On the move...

As if things weren't exciting enough around here with our invasion of mice and getting ready for our trip to Spain in August, we have found a new apartment in Sunnyside and are moving a week from Monday! The new place is about 3 blocks away, features 2 good-sized bedrooms, and being on the top floor it has fabulous views and breezes. I cannot wait to get in there.

Since Elisa has been on the go a lot more lately, it's only fitting that I share the latest video of our power walker. Here she is in action!

Our little girl

At some point, it had to be done. I knew I wanted to get some formal photos taken of Elisa to make prints of, to share with family and to really capture all that she has become. Of course, the run-of-the mill portrait studio wouldn't do. I detest those places. So when a friend who happens to be a professional photographer and photo editor started doing baby portraits, the time was ripe to set Elisa down in front of a lens without mom or dad behind it. I wanted to make this more of a surprise for our family, but since I'm the worst with keeping anything to myself, I have to share a few of the pictures here. More to come...

All photos courtesy of Kristin Burns at http://kristinburnsbabyphoto.com/

Here we go...

Now that it's July and we're fast approaching August, the string of "first" 1st birthdays is upon us. We have met so many great moms and babies in our neighborhood through the Sunnymoms Yahoo Group that I'm beginning to wonder what I did here before I had Elisa. Was I really part of the community? Today was our first birthday party for one of Elisa's friends. His name is Oliver and his mom Jessie is such a warm, laid back kinda gal. She and her husband Luke hosted all of us at the Sunnyside Gardens Park which was a perfect, family-friendly kind of sprawling playground. Thankfully the rain stayed away for our celebration. Here are a few pictures from the festivities. Enjoy!

Happy Birthday, Blog!

Hard to believe, but one year ago I started this blog. At the time I was 34 weeks pregnant (a measurement that makes sense only to the initiated) and I was hoping that by week 40 I would have a baby. I did, and the rest, as they say, is history.

When I look back at those early postings and the euphoria of bringing Elisa home from the hospital, I remember how easy that first month felt. We were surrounded by family and survived the sleepless nights on adrenaline and the excitement of seeing what would happen next. By months two and three, the real shock of becoming "mom and dad" had started to set in and the feeling of having to navigate this on our own was weighing heavy on my heart. I had to learn to surrender my life as I knew it. This wasn't easy for someone who really liked her work and her life and her marriage. But like the saying goes, sometimes we have to destroy in order to create.

Once the pieces started to build back into a reasonable semblance of a life (about month 4), I felt infinitely better. This was manageable. This I could handle. Sleeping - eating - playing. It was all coming together and Elisa was starting to communicate with us in new and intriguing ways. She was smiling and laughing and becoming something more than a receptacle for all my fears. By six months, she was exactly the kind of predictable, pleasant baby I had dreamed of and I found my own confidence as a parent growing. I was--and am--so grateful to be her mom.

But the journey doesn't stop there. With each new milestone of sitting, crawling, walking, I am ever more aware of my own goals and milestones in life. I know sometimes it's hard to feel that I can achieve the things I want in life when I am so caught up in all that I want for Elisa. I want the world for her. And yet, I also want to nurture my own inner life, to remember to take time to do the things that bring me joy. It's a balancing act that only mothers know which seems both unfair and perfectly right. Letting this blog unfold and allow me to share my life and my daughter with our friends and family has helped me understand my role even more. I have thought of a poem turned to song that I sang a lot in college. It's words clearer to me now:

Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts. For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness; For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

-- Khalil Gibran

Happy July 4th!

Nothing says July 4th quite like ice cream at the park. And from the way Elisa polished off the stick, clearly it was a hit. Maybe she was just glad to have mom and dad home together for a change. Since Nacho has had to work most weekends since May, we've not had any time to really enjoy the city walks or Central Park picnics of summers past. But this month we have a few breaks and I'm looking forward to them.

Here is Elisa enjoying her last bite of ice cream. Happy 4th!

Summer vacation

This past week we headed to Kansas City, MO to visit my grandmas and aunt who still live there. It happened that Nacho had off a string of 5 days and my parents were also flying in for a rare visit so we all convened on Aunt Barb's house for a few days and enjoyed ourselves immensely. Seeing other people you love enjoy your daughter always makes for a good time. We also got to catch up with a few friends and some friends of the family. Here are a few of my favorite pics from the week.

All in all, Elisa did a great job tolerating all the hussle and bussle. I figure it was a good dry run for our upcoming 2-week trip to Spain in August. She managed to nap on the go and eat her way around the town (enjoying lots of new treats thanks to Christi!!). And yes, she also impressed those who had heard us talk about her singing, her weird arm waving and her all around good humor. More and more these days, I find that Elisa likes connecting with people and will do her little laugh/cough to get your attention if she thinks you aren't adoring her every minute. When she mimicked the lady next to us on the plane with her little cough, I had to laugh and apologize. She isn't one to be ignored. Of course there's nothing quite like a nursing home to make you feel like you have the most beautiful child in the world. Our two visits up to see Grandma Mitchell made Elisa the star attraction for a crowd of happy seniors. Kind of like taking a puppy to a playground, I told my mom. Good times for all.

Happy Father's Day near and far...

Although Nacho isn't home with us today to enjoy his first Father's Day, we are thinking of him and miss him. In his honor, Elisa slept for 13 1/2 hours last night, making this feel more like a present to me, but hey, I don't think he'll mind. We've talked a lot lately about our goal of sharing Elisa with both of our families and trying to make her life fully bilingual. Living in the U.S. we know she'll grow up with English, but so far it has been Nacho's role to speak Spanish to her and it's one that I know he enjoys. And although she hasn't mastered "papa" yet, her enthusiasm for "dada" is always easy to spot. Happy Father's Day indeed.

Park Slopin' it

Thank goodness for summer and the rays of sunshine that finally appeared today after a solid WEEK of rain in the city. Elisa and I were feeling particularly peppy and up for a ride, so we tagged along with Dan and his mom Mary to visit the Park Slope Farmer's Market where our good friend Molly Killeen sells her excellent sweets and bread. Since Molly's little boy Jude (pictured here with dad Ronan) is almost one this month, she's always provided a kind of window on what to expect next. And as we like to joke, it's good to know the boy your daughter is going to have a crush on in about 12 years.

We didn't waste anytime going to eat at a nice little cafe/market along Fifth Ave in the Slope. I think the name was Get Fresh. And it certainly was. Nice seasonal produce and fruit-filled muffins. Definitely yummy. Here's Dan with Jude in the garden area. Elisa was almost asleep when we arrived and stayed in her "zoney place" as I like to call it for a good half hour. Once I finished my meal, though, she perked up and enjoyed lots of little bites of toast. That girl LOVES her bread. Just like daddy, I think.

Here's Molly and her boy enjoying some shade and taking a break from the market.