...and to all a good night!

Here are a few of our favorites from this holiday week in New York City. Love to all and wishing a very Happy New Year to come.

Merry merry

Merry Christmas Eve! We're back in Queens for a family holiday with ours and Stacey's. It's been a busy month traveling to NC and back but we've been able to visit with some of our favorite people and eat some good food so that's what the holidays are all about. Elisa has recovered from her fever and sleepless nights and life is good. Last night we even ate out at one of my favorite restaurants in Brooklyn (Chip Shop on Atlantic Ave) and took a quick stroll on the promenade in Brooklyn Heights before zooming back on the train home. Elisa survived the long evening and slept til 8 a.m. for a change! Today Nacho came home and will be here til the afternoon of the 26th, so we're ready to sit back and enjoy the next day and a half at home. My very first real Christmas morning at home--as an adult! And I'm eager to show Elisa her stocking and see that big smile when she walks in the living room and finds all the toys laid out for her. It will be a moment worth capturing.

Baby it's cold outside...

On Monday we flew down here to North Carolina for a bit of family time before the holiday. I was a little skeptical about flying that day since Elisa had been running a low-grade fever since the afternoon before, but I figured we would have plenty of hands on deck to help us recuperate. I was partly right. Elisa adores her cousins and all the attention from Aunt Stacey and Uncle Mark, and of course, Grandma and Grandpa. So much so that her playing and eating and dancing around have all been much enhanced since her fever finally broke on Wednesday morning. But the sleep--not so much.

For whatever reason, Elisa has taken a little hiatus from her normally STELLAR sleeping patterns. The naps are poof! over in 40 minutes and the nighttime sleep is like dealing with a screamy newborn again. You just don't know how long before she cries out again. And again. And oh, God, again. This morning I actually found myself laying in bed with a pillow over my head trying to muffle out the crying and see if perhaps she was just testing me at 6 a.m. Maybe she was about to fall back asleep? Why did she stop and then start again every 5 minutes giving me just enough hope that I wouldn't have to get out of bed to comfort her.

Funny that just a week or so ago I was listening to another mom talk about her week of sleepless hell, and I just couldn't fathom it. I think somewhere in my brain there is a space reserved for the dark, sleepless nights we spent with Elisa as a newbie and the longer we go between occurrences, the harder it is to remember what that felt like. But it doesn't take long for it to come bouncing back. Which of course, makes me feel like I am NEVER going to be ready for another baby. How, how, how do people do this? I read with earnest enthusiasm about my friends having second (and third) kids and I just wonder what in the world that kind of exhaustion feels like. I am barely keeping up with one kid after a minor cold. But I guess that's the beauty of life, that we never really know what we're getting ourselves into until it's too late. Luckily, right now, I am just pondering all of this and enjoying the time I have to take a sleepless night (or five) every once in a great while and remember that "normal" life will resume. I just have to be patient.

The 16 month mark

This week I went back through the blog and read every single post. Some I poured over a couple of times before moving on. It's amazing to me that in just over a year, I have forgotten so much of what life was like those first few months. Is it the protective haze of sleep deprivation that makes my (now) well-rested mind so foggy? I don't know. But I do know that this blog has kept a record of the crazy night feedings, weigh-ins and nap schedules and now the playtimes and city visits with a precision I've come to love. Hearing her 16-month stats at the doctor's office this week, I was slightly shocked to think she weighs 26 lbs. already and measures an incredible 34 1/4 inches tall! Where did my baby go? What I realized re-reading the blog is that even just an entry or two a week can mark noticeable progress which is gratifying when it feels like every day is a repeat performance of the same day.

I guess that's how life is different outside of the office. When one day becomes another, and the groceries are bought, dinner cooked and cleaned up, child fed, bathed and changed, it's easy to forget that life is moving along and tomorrow is a new day. I'm still adjusting to life without checklists and cases opened and closed, but I'm finding the mental space I dedicated to all of that was really bogging me down. I feel much lighter and freer and even calmer moving throughout the day and letting myself ruminate on all of these changes. In many ways, everything seems possible right now. I always like the end of year, beginning of year time to ponder life and the direction it's taken, but this year feels especially meaningful as I find myself without a clear path forward. What I hope to do is travel more, visit with friends and family more and find a way to take better care of myself. My mother's day spa certificate hasn't been used yet, for crying out loud! And whether it's pigeon watching out our living room windows or just reading that same book ONE MORE TIME, I promise to show Elisa how much fun we can have exploring our home and city together. She deserves that right now and so do I.

Christmas Tree - Take Two

For those of you who get my Facebook updates, you may have already seen Elisa's reaction to the Christmas tree we put up this year. It was like she finally noticed it the morning after our tree trimming and boy was she excited. Lots of "oooooing" and general guffawing over the shiny, pretty ornaments and tinsel. She wasn't too keen on actually touching the tree since that seemed to be a little too prickly. So far, she's left it alone mostly with a few ornaments scattered throughout the apartment. Here she is having a go at the water. Enjoy!

The Christmas Spirit

This weekend was a great way to start December. Nacho was home both days and we got to have a bit of family time after a trying week. On Saturday we braved the cold rainy weather to get out and snag a Christmas tree a few blocks away. It's not like the Christmas tree farm adventures of my youth, but buying a tree for $29.99 at the local grocery store and dragging it home 6 blocks isn't too bad for a city kid. At least there was no tying it onto the car and hoping it stayed put. This year, I think Nacho just decided it was easier to participate than fight my decorating commandments. Here he is with his favorite ornament. Elisa and I sit and read in front of the tree.
A close-up of my favorite ornament--I smile every time I see this and I don't know why.
On Sunday, I had a holiday brunch with some of the moms (and dads) of our Sunnymoms playgroup. I've mentioned them many times before, but this group has made my transition to motherhood so much more fun and I'm particularly glad to have them in my life as I figure out what staying at home with Elisa is all about. Of course, it was nice to leave Elisa at home for a change and enjoy a meal with the group where we could really chat and talk about all the things (okay, mostly babies) that we deal with daily. So many of them can relate to what I am going through in one way or another, that I am constantly reminded that work is not an identity. It is who we are, not what we do, that makes us interesting and talented. They are amazing like that. Afterwards, Nacho and I took Elisa over to the Sunnyside Gardens Park Holiday Boutique to see Santa. I wasn't sure exactly what Elisa would make of the jolly ol' man, but if the photos below are any indication, I think she'd rather be anywhere else.
We tried again a few minutes later with her friend Juliet (whose mom Kristin Burns took these hilarious photos! If you haven't booked your session with her yet, hurry up!!). But Elisa wasn't having it. I guess this is one for the baby book. Santa must have been pinching her from the looks of it.
Ho ho ho!!

Recipe Roulette

My good friend Maggie came up with a fun idea for us blogger gals. Post a recipe a day and cross-reference them on our blogs to help multiply some basic dinner ideas when we know we are all sick and tired of our usual go-to meals. Brilliant! So here is my take on Shepherd's Pie, a dish I fell in love with living in Ireland. And no, that's not me pictured below as a Top Chef. I actually took a cooking class with Nacho as a part of a holiday party a few years back. I've been wearing that hat ever since.

So, the idea with Recipe Roulette is that the dish be easy to make and easy to modify depending on tastes. I make a lot of standards (frittata, pasta with veggies and sausage, chicken cutlets and grilled asparagus) but the following Shepherd's Pie is a nice alternative when I want a meal that just screams COMFORT FOOD!!!!!

Ingredients:

• 1 1/2 lbs. ground beef (or turkey or lamb)
• 1 bag frozen mixed veggies (carrots, peas, corn, etc.)
• 2 pouches of instant mashed potatoes--I use the ones that come in a typical side portion for a meal but you can also just use from the box of instant potatoes or god forbid, make enough REAL mashed spuds to cover the top
• 1 packet of Shepherd's Pie seasoning (did I mention there's an Irish grocery store in my neighborhood??) OR 1-2 cubes of beef bouillon or stock depending on how saucy you like it

I start with browning the ground beef until it's no longer pink and then strain off excess liquid/fat. While that's cooking, I briefly boil the frozen veggies in salted water for 2-3 minutes and drain those. Combine the veggies in the skillet with the cooked meat. Mix packet of seasoning with half a pint of water (or follow directions for beef stock) and add to the meat/veg combo. Stir and cook for another 3-5 min.

In a separate bowl, prepare the instant mashed potatoes according to the directions. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Take a casserole dish or baking pan and pour the meat/veg into it. Spread the mashed potatoes on top. Bake for 25-30 minutes (depending on how hungry you are).

EAT!

To modify this recipe, I have added cheddar cheese to the mashed potatoes (yum) and sometimes throw in some garlic and/or onion to the ground beef. It's pretty basic but I find that with a nice comfort meal, the day just ends on a good note.

Hope you all enjoy and for more Recipe Roulette check out Maggie's blog and more links to all the blogging gals who participated.

And so it goes...

I don't have a cute photo to post today because it's not that kind of day. I found out on Monday that I no longer have a job and it's disappointing to say the least. I've thought many times over the past 12 months that I was trudging a difficult path being a wife, mother and worker. And yes, I even thought about what it would be like to quit my job. But I didn't. I liked what I did. And I liked the small office I had called home for over 4 years. 4 Years. The longest I had worked anywhere. Ever. It was a place I felt I knew and yet I found myself a stranger there. Left to clean up and clear out without even a farewell from the boss who had vacationed with me, visited Elisa in the hospital and been a good friend to both Nacho and I. Surreal is the only way to describe it, I guess and yet, part of me wasn't surprised at all.

Since having Elisa, my life had changed radically. Not only had I undergone a physical transformation (mom boobs, anyone?) but I have felt myself pulled emotionally and mentally in many different directions. Directions I didn't know existed before I had a child. Life changed. My priorities changed, and I wasn't the worker bee who could spend 9 or 10 hours a day in the office. When I started back in January, I felt relieved to be out of the house again and to see other people who could talk about something other than poop or boobs or sleeping habits. It was a return to normalcy I thought. Clients, emails, paperwork--it was all part of the old life that made sense when I felt my new life was too confusing. I was glad I found a way to continue to work and give myself that opportunity and give Elisa the chance to know other caretakers. She has had a few and they were all good in their own ways. Our current sitter Vanessa is so lovely and really makes it easy to see Elisa off when I leave home. Luckily, I wasn't gone every day which made this year feel like the best of both worlds. The allure of working part-time, from home even, was a definite perk of this job and I even commented on this blog that I had the best boss in New York City. But that was then.

Today I am a stay at home mom and I don't even know what that means. Does this mean I won't look for work? Does this mean I can afford to stay home? Does this mean I should have another baby sooner? I have lots of questions and very few answers. What I do know is that it wasn't in my control and that just sucks. It sucks to lose a job and a friend at the same time.

Leaves

Yesterday we stopped on our way out of Central Park to enjoy the unseasonable temps and roll around in the leaves. Elisa wasn't sure what to make of it at first, but she quickly came around. Moments like these don't last. I wish they did.

Thanksgiving feast in NYC

This year we repeated a tradition by joining some friends in Astoria, Queens for a Thanksgiving feast. When your host is an acclaimed pastry chef with a charming husband and adorable son, you know you can't refuse. So we headed over around 5pm and enjoyed a wonderful meal (turkey, homemade stuffing, roasted brussel sprouts, sweet potato tart) and some really fabulous pies and buttermilk ice cream.

Luckily, Elisa has shifted her wakeup time a bit this week to 8-8:30am which made her last nap of the day from 3-5pm--a victory for keeping her up a little later on this holiday. And she didn't disappoint. I've said it before, but Elisa is a crowd pleaser. She loves to work a room and doesn't take long to warm up to people. Within a few minutes of arriving, she was roaming from room to room, chasing Jude and his new kitty Topsy, and generally dancing around to her own beat. I feel so blessed to have this vibrant girl in my life and I know that she is only beginning to show me what she has in store for us. She sat for dinner without too much squirming, but having the corner seat where she could get down and move helped keep the fussiness to a minimum. Of course, Nacho had to sacrifice some dinner to the cause of keeping her occupied, but it was all smiles for both of them.
After dinner, the chase was on in the kitchen as both Jude and Elisa stalked the poor cat. Fortunately, Topsy was a pretty sweet cat with no problem being pet a little heavy-handed.
Surrounding the cat was a smart move. These two know what they're doing...
Later, relaxing in the living room with Dan and our friends was a great end to the evening. Elisa saw some friends stop by after the meal and watched intently as they introduced themselves and shook hands with everyone. A few minutes later, our party girl was working the room, going from person to person shaking hands and making eye contact as she did it--a real pro!
Thanksgiving is a special holiday for many reasons (the food! did I mention the pies?), but mostly because it's a chance to be reflective and allow the joy of the season to take hold and make you appreciate the people in your life and the many things you have to be thankful for. I remember feeling so fortunate last year to have a healthy baby who had flourished in her first months of life (even if she didn't give us much sleep). But this year, I feel like I hit the jackpot--a beautiful, funny daughter and truly amazing husband who remind me everyday that I am loved. What more could I ask for?