Week in review

Our second full week of Nacho being gone and I'm starting to lose track of how many nights the kids have had pasta and hot dogs for dinner. Oh well. It's life right now, and I'm squeaking through. In reality, the day to day stuff is going fine. We have a pretty good M-F routine going with the bus pick up and drop offs, Carolina started preschool T/W/F and LOVES it, and I'm slowly digging out from a pile of crap that seems to reproduce every night at midnight. I've already carted so much stuff to the basement that I feel like my apartment should be empty. But alas, no. It just allows everything else to spread out. Why is that? I was doing pretty good with tidying up the first week that Nacho was gone, but by week two, I have to admit things have been sliding again.  I found myself trying to use those beautifully carefree preschool hours for socializing with friends and even got myself a long awaited pedicure last week.  The apartment could wait. My mental health needed some adult conversation time and it has been a welcome change to have the time to really sit and talk. We've already cut back our time at Sunnyside Gardens Park since post-preschool it makes more sense to swing into Lou Lodati before heading home. Yes, I'm having flashbacks to this time three years ago and what it meant to have my mornings feel unscripted. And even then, I only really had a month before I gave birth to Carolina and those carefree mornings became time for a new baby. So yeah, I think I've earned a fucking pedicure or two. Amirite? 

Nacho made it home late last Thursday and left Saturday morning yet we still had time for a coffee date and ramen lunch

It's hard to describe exactly how all of this change makes me feel except to say that it's been a really emotional time. I find I'm happier than usual at some points just clearing out the apartment and having a new schedule. And then at times, I find myself feeling more worried the next few months with Nacho's new job, what I want from a work-life balance perspective and wondering where the girls and their needs fit into all of this. Sometimes I want to have a more steady 9-5 kind of office gig because I miss that normalcy (and paycheck), and other times I can't imagine trading in my freedom. Mostly the latter. It's been a great run these past 5 years being at home, but still, my next act as a photographer is one I'm still trying to come to terms with. And as much as I love doing it, I also know that it's something I will always do regardless of whether or not I get paid. So yeah, there's a lot to process and September is my month to embrace change and see what the rest of the year has in store for me, I suppose. Adding to the newness, I also finally got on the ball and got our landlord to fix up the walls in Elisa and Carolina's room. Knowing they would have to paint, I figured why not also add in a splash of color and so I let Elisa choose. She picked a light pinkish lavender shade called, appropriately enough, Monologue. Moving the room around on Friday night into Saturday morning was a bit of a pain in the ass, but the end result is amazing. It helped me see their space in a new way and just the fact that I put it all back together again on my own was empowering. The girls love it, and I'm finally able to feel like it's the way it should be. Now...on to the next project! Dining room redo?!