Summer vacation

This past week we headed to Kansas City, MO to visit my grandmas and aunt who still live there. It happened that Nacho had off a string of 5 days and my parents were also flying in for a rare visit so we all convened on Aunt Barb's house for a few days and enjoyed ourselves immensely. Seeing other people you love enjoy your daughter always makes for a good time. We also got to catch up with a few friends and some friends of the family. Here are a few of my favorite pics from the week.

All in all, Elisa did a great job tolerating all the hussle and bussle. I figure it was a good dry run for our upcoming 2-week trip to Spain in August. She managed to nap on the go and eat her way around the town (enjoying lots of new treats thanks to Christi!!). And yes, she also impressed those who had heard us talk about her singing, her weird arm waving and her all around good humor. More and more these days, I find that Elisa likes connecting with people and will do her little laugh/cough to get your attention if she thinks you aren't adoring her every minute. When she mimicked the lady next to us on the plane with her little cough, I had to laugh and apologize. She isn't one to be ignored. Of course there's nothing quite like a nursing home to make you feel like you have the most beautiful child in the world. Our two visits up to see Grandma Mitchell made Elisa the star attraction for a crowd of happy seniors. Kind of like taking a puppy to a playground, I told my mom. Good times for all.

Happy Father's Day near and far...

Although Nacho isn't home with us today to enjoy his first Father's Day, we are thinking of him and miss him. In his honor, Elisa slept for 13 1/2 hours last night, making this feel more like a present to me, but hey, I don't think he'll mind. We've talked a lot lately about our goal of sharing Elisa with both of our families and trying to make her life fully bilingual. Living in the U.S. we know she'll grow up with English, but so far it has been Nacho's role to speak Spanish to her and it's one that I know he enjoys. And although she hasn't mastered "papa" yet, her enthusiasm for "dada" is always easy to spot. Happy Father's Day indeed.

Park Slopin' it

Thank goodness for summer and the rays of sunshine that finally appeared today after a solid WEEK of rain in the city. Elisa and I were feeling particularly peppy and up for a ride, so we tagged along with Dan and his mom Mary to visit the Park Slope Farmer's Market where our good friend Molly Killeen sells her excellent sweets and bread. Since Molly's little boy Jude (pictured here with dad Ronan) is almost one this month, she's always provided a kind of window on what to expect next. And as we like to joke, it's good to know the boy your daughter is going to have a crush on in about 12 years.

We didn't waste anytime going to eat at a nice little cafe/market along Fifth Ave in the Slope. I think the name was Get Fresh. And it certainly was. Nice seasonal produce and fruit-filled muffins. Definitely yummy. Here's Dan with Jude in the garden area. Elisa was almost asleep when we arrived and stayed in her "zoney place" as I like to call it for a good half hour. Once I finished my meal, though, she perked up and enjoyed lots of little bites of toast. That girl LOVES her bread. Just like daddy, I think.

Here's Molly and her boy enjoying some shade and taking a break from the market.

Standing room only

Even though it's only been a few weeks since Elisa started crawling, it feels like she has just taken off with her newfound skills. The traces of babyhood are slowly disappearing and she's becoming more and more like a bona fide toddler everyday.

It's such a journey to watch these progressions unfold and to realize that she had all of this potential from the day she was born. Lately I've been flashing back to last summer and to all the anticipation that the end of pregnancy brings. It feels like just yesterday I was shuffling along the subway corridors, taking tiresome strolls through Central Park with swollen limbs, and enjoying the closeness that only a couple expecting a baby can share.
A year later and I have to admit that I had no idea how much I would learn about myself and my daughter in just 10 months. I remember thinking that the time would fly and she would be a little girl soon and we'd be off to the museums or to walk hand-in-hand through the city. Now I know the time will fly. It already has. And my baby isn't such a baby anymore. A fellow Sunnymom posted a great Anna Quindlen column from years ago and it brought such tears as I read it. Even when you are in the midst of all the fussiness, the unpredictability of babyhood, you realize it will be over before you know it. Life just moves that way.

Here is the column in its entirety:

On Being A Mom

By Anna Quindlen

All my babies are gone now. I say this not in sorrow but in disbelief. I take great satisfaction in what I have today: three almost adults, two taller than I am, one closing in fast. Three people who read the same books I do and have learned not to be afraid of disagreeing with me in their opinion of them, who sometimes tell vulgar jokes that make me laugh until I choke and cry, who need razor blades and shower gel and privacy, who want to keep their doors closed more than I like. Who, miraculously, go to the bathroom, zip up their jackets and move food from plate to
mouth all by themselves.

Like the trick soap I bought for the bathroom with a rubber ducky at its center, the baby is buried deep within each, barely discernible except through the unreliable haze of the past.

Everything in all the books I once pored over is finished for me now. Penelope Leach., T. Berry Brazelton., Dr. Spock. The ones on sibling rivalry and sleeping through the night and early-childhood education, all grown obsolete. Along with "Goodnight Moon" and "Where the Wild Things Are," they are battered, spotted, well used. But I suspect that if you flipped the pages dust would rise like memories.

What those books taught me, finally, and what the women on the playground taught me, and the well-meaning relations --what they taught me was that they couldn't really teach me very much at all.

Raising children is presented at first as a true-false test, then becomes multiple choice, until finally, far along, you realize that it is an endless essay. No one knows anything. One child responds well to positive reinforcement, another can be managed only with a stern voice and a
timeout. One boy is toilet trained at 3, his brother at 2. When my first child was born, parents were told to put baby to bed on his belly so that he would not choke on his own spit-up. By the time my last arrived, babies were put down on their backs because of research on sudden
infant death syndrome. To a new parent this ever-shifting certainty is terrifying, and then soothing. Eventually you must learn to trust yourself. Eventually the research will follow.

I remember 15 years ago poring over one of Dr. Brazelton's wonderful books on child development, in which he describes three different sorts of infants: average, quiet, and active. I was looking for a sub-quiet codicil for an 18-month-old who did not walk. Was there something wrong with his fat little legs? Was there something wrong with his tiny little mind? Was he developmentally delayed, physically challenged? Was I insane? Last year he went to China. Next year he goes to college. He can talk just fine. He can walk, too.

Every part of raising children is humbling, too. Believe me, mistakes were made. They have all been enshrined in the Remember-When-Mom-Did Hall of Fame. The outbursts, the temper tantrums, the bad language - mine, not theirs. The times the baby fell off the bed. The times I arrived late for preschool pickup. The nightmare sleepover. The horrible summer camp. The day when the youngest came barreling out of the classroom with a 98 on her
geography test, and I responded, What did you get wrong? (She insisted I
include that.) The time I ordered food at the McDonald's drive-through speaker and then drove away without picking it up from the window. (They all insisted I include that.) I did not allow them to watch the Simpsons for the first two seasons. What was I thinking?

But the biggest mistake I made is the one that most of us make while doing this. I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of the three of them sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages 6, 4 and 1. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less.

Even today I'm not sure what worked and what didn't, what was me and what was simply life. When they were very small, I suppose I thought someday they would become who they were because of what I'd done. Now I suspect they simply grew into their true selves because they demanded in a thousand ways that I back off and let them be. The books said to be relaxed and I was often tense, matter-of-fact and I was sometimes over the top. And look how it all turned out. I wound up with the three people I like best in the world, who have done more than anyone to excavate my essential humanity.

That's what the books never told me. I was bound and determined to learn from the experts. It just took me a while to figure out who the experts were.

Oh, well...

I've been trying for a week now to upload videos of Elisa eating her puffs with great pincher skills and learning to crawl across the floor in pursuit of a toy, but for some reason the blog is not cooperating. So, I'll post these pics of our weekend visit to celebrate my mom's birthday last Saturday. It was a great trip and definitely a highlight of our summer so far. 

Barefoot in the park

It doesn't take much pushing to get us out the door these days since the weather is warming up and Elisa loves people-watching as much as we do. Luckily there is a great playground just behind our building which seems like the communal backyard most afternoons. This week we met up with our Sunny Playgroup (yes, the splinter group from Sunnymoms) on Thursday morning to have a little stroll-in. The group quickly gathered around the blanket for all the sprawling babies to climb and topple one another. Elisa did her fair share of tapping and tugging on others and seemed particularly obsessed with Hiro's hat. Here she is attempting to pull it off (which she did several other times).

Young Leo

So I came across a link to children's horoscopes this morning as I was logging into my email and I couldn't resist. Here's what it said about Elisa's birth date:

"Leo children are rays of light - playful, willing to be the center of attention, always ready to put on a show. This child is highly entertaining and able to assess the presence of an audience with surprising sophistication. In infants you may notice his showmanship just by their alert and pleasant nature, like stars ready to go onstage. There is warmth and charm about little Leos. As the baby grows into a toddler, there will be a marked agility with the body, a natural athleticism, good balance, and physical features such as a wide brow or a big head of hair. Leo children are natural stars and may need a little help when it comes to fitting in with their peer group. They are naturally popular, but may have issues when it's not their turn with a toy or game, or simply not their turn to shine. Rebuffs or accidental slights might be taken as deep insults. Imagine a cat getting water poured on its fur! At these junctures, help your little Leo understand that they are not the target of ridicule, even though they feel terribly humiliated because it means so much to them to be loved, adored, even worshipped! Remember, many actors, rock stars, and politicians are Leos, so you have a big personality on your hands! Leo is a fire sign and thus warm, affectionate and sexually uninhibited. Encourage your child's free expression with the body, maybe introducing dance lessons when he or she is ready. Some kind of physical exercise that channels all that fiery exuberance is recommended, lest the energy be repressed or express itself in unproductive ways. Be the parent who gently reminds your son or daughter about boundaries and limits, their own and other people's, so that you are a trusted source of support, not a critical judge."

Of course, I know this description is probably true for lots of kids, but I swear she fits the performing part to a T. And Nacho has been saying that she'll probably be a comedian with the way she loves to perform and make us laugh for months now. I think a star is born!

Edited to add: Here is the link from the MSN website: http://astrocenter.astrology.msn.com/msn/gochildprofile.aspx

Aunt 'Tacey

Elisa loves a visitor and this week Aunt Stacey has been staying with us giving Elisa plenty of audience. Although we haven't been taking her into Manhattan with us, Elisa has enjoyed a little extra time with daddy while us girls have had our night (and day) out. Luckily Aunt Stacey likes taking photos as much as we do and she has a great camera so there have been lots of opportunities for capturing the moment. Here are some of my favorites so far...

Happy Mother's Day to all!

It's 6:15pm and Elisa decided to have a third nap today, so I'm taking advantage of it by catching up on my blogging and reflecting on all that this day means. I thought since Nacho would be traveling this weekend I should attempt to make plans which would keep me from wallowing in my first mother's day alone. As always, my good friend Dan Riley came through and even brought me flowers for our pancake breakfast at home. Since convincing Dan to move to Sunnyside last year, I've reaped many benefits from his friendship and proximity. He's the kind of guy you like to know is around at the drop of a hat.

Here he is teaching Elisa some great recipes from the Amy Sedaris cookbook. Hilarious stuff if you haven't seen that before. We visited the park at Greenpoint and 47th Ave for a few minutes to let Elisa get her swing on, before hitting the Paraguayan bakery for some delicious empanadas.
I should note that in his absence, Nacho did ensure I wouldn't go empty-handed this mother's day. He gave me a very nice (and unexpected) gift certificate to a day spa in Manhattan that came highly recommended from my friend Protima. As Nacho said, when you want luxury, you can trust Protima will steer you right. So, thanks to his initiative and Protima's good taste, I'll have a treat to enjoy in the next few weeks.  Most of all I think I enjoyed this first mother's day because I really feel like I'm beginning to get the balance back in my life that was hard to come by in the first 6 months. Elisa has mastered sleeping and naps and is a very playful and enjoyable baby to be around. And I'm realizing that if you approach the day with new eyes, the same routines and actions can be fun, or at least offer the potential for small moments that you will never forget.
I see more and more of my own reflection in Elisa lately and maybe that's why it's such a joy to see her smile back or clap her hands or just babble softly to herself. It's like watching all that I must have gone through too as a baby and wondering what on earth she'll be like in another year, or three or five. It's such a mystery and yet it propels you forward in time like nothing else. I can't wait to meet her again and again every day.
And of course, I'm also reflecting on this day what it means to be a mother and how the women in my life have informed my own sense of motherhood. I'm extremely grateful to all of them for the wisdom shared and the little encouragements that have meant the world to me. So for all of us on this day, I hope it is filled with lots of hugs and laughter.

Just beachy

We're flying back home today but here are some pics from our first beach adventure of 2009!