Last week my friend Federica visited us in New York City before we both headed on to our 20 year high school reunion in Kansas City. I hadn't seen Fede in 13 years, since the first summer she returned and I drove over from St. Louis. I had only been dating Nacho for a year and he was off to Spain for a few weeks in August, so I made the trip to see her. No matter how much time passes between our visits or emails, though, nothing seems to change between us. Fede is truly one of the most lively, interesting and sincere people I've ever met. And having the chance to introduce her to my family on this trip was wonderful, especially since she's now a mother herself and knows what this kind of chaos is all about. The girls were excited to hang out with her in Central Park and we managed to spend a leisurely afternoon running around, eating ice cream, catching bubbles and watching people. There were of course moments of tantrums and screaming, kicking and not wanting to follow, but overall, it was enjoyable.
Carolina is at a difficult stage right now where she thinks she is older and more capable than she really is. And my willingness to give her more freedom is there, but sometimes she can't handle it. Case in point, the SpongeBob ice cream that ended up in the trash can after she refused to eat it and decided holding it while it melted all over her lap was a better idea. So I had to play the meanie and toss that crap away. Oh well. She just doesn't know what she's doing all the time which is frustrating for both of us. Good thing is, she's easily distracted still so moving on and finding relief wasn't too hard. The bubble man in the middle of Poet's Walk was a nice chance for the girls to get out and run around. Fede and I were talking and enjoying ourselves and before you know it, it was 7:30 p.m. and we were sitting there without any agenda. A few hot dogs and pretzels later, and we were ready to pack it in. This day was working out alright, but our jet lagged guest and two tired kids made it an early evening.
Talking to Fede about her own sense of motherhood and how she sets boundaries for her son was such a great re-introduction to where we are in our lives. Despite nearly 13 years since our last visit (and 20 years since we first met), we are in the same cycle of life and our similar reactions are again a point of bonding. From dealing with labor and breastfeeding to disciplining our kids, we have so many common views. And yet, we are living very different lives in two very different countries. She somehow juggles a demanding full time job as an attorney with her role as mama to Pablo, now three years old. As she explained their child care arrangements and quest for the right preschool, so much of her journey reminded me of my own. And even though I'm staying at home full time now and dealing with two kids, there was lots of common ground and head nodding over the weekend. Seeing her interact and play with the girls was so much fun. Elisa was smitten with Fede's boy Pablo during the few minutes of Facetime that we managed to do with him back in Milan. So much so, that before Fede left, she gave her the Pablo and Tyrone stuffed animals from the Backyardigans for her to take home. I think he'll be pleased. And who knows, maybe in 20 years these kids will be hanging out together in Europe sipping espresso and talking about their crazy moms. Anything is possible.
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