Coney Island Adventures

Last week had its highs and lows--mostly involving Elisa. We started off the week returning from North Carolina which was a bit of a long day, but all went well. The girls rocked the flight and despite the nasty weather, we were back home in time for an early bedtime on Monday night.  After a few days away from the city, it felt like summer was really here and there was a lot of anticipation for the week ahead.  Tuesday was all about returning to our routines at school and the park. On Wednesday, Elisa had her evaluation for the Dual Language program at P.S. 150 which went well. Hopefully we'll know this week if she has a spot and if so, we'll face the final decision about where she's going to go to Kindergarten. But more on that later. Yes, the week was busy but going well so when Nacho mentioned he was off on Thursday and Elisa's UPK was closed, it was a perfect excuse to do something summery. Nacho suggested hitting Coney Island since it had been 6 or so years since we'd been down there.  Then I remembered that the NY Aquarium had only recently reopened after the extensive damage from Hurricane Sandy, and I thought it would be a nice double feature. I signed us up for a Wildlife Conservation Society membership (with a $20 discount for a googled promo code!) the night before thanks to a tip from some friends at the park, and away we went to indulge in free parking and all the aquatic wildlife you could stand. 

The vision I had created in my head was a fun-filled day on the boardwalk ending in a ride on the Wonder Wheel and two happily exhausted kids.  But what happened as soon as we got to the aquarium was that Elisa wanted to take off and run ahead of us the entire time. The first few rooms full of tanks with beautiful fish and stingrays were definitely awe-inspiring, but she was in a mad dash. I found myself mainly admiring the fish by myself while Nacho chased the girls.  Since there wasn't much to see inside, we quickly headed out to investigate further. But unfortunately, the place was mostly roped off because of the ongoing reconstruction efforts. Then Elisa spotted an ice cream cart and wouldn't relent while poor Carolina wanted out of her stroller and couldn't really see much of the outside exhibits anyway. It was not shaping up to be a banner day. We didn't have great timing for the seal show which started an hour and a half later, so we decided to head over to the boardwalk for lunch and maybe double back if time permitted. We could save this day yet...

Things outside the aquarium started off okay. We hit a small play area on the beach for a few minutes before walking further down. We peeked into the amusement parks and I told Elisa we might go there later if she was acting good.  Then it was time for lunch and the lines at Nathan's were pretty long so I encouraged Nacho to treat the girls to ice cream while we all waited (and because I was sick of hearing Elisa tell us she wanted ice cream. Really?). I know he wasn't thrilled with this idea, but it was my attempt at appeasement.  And just like Chamberlain with Hitler, I was terribly wrong.  Of course, our kindness was not repaid with gratitude. No, instead of enjoying a peaceful meal sitting on a bench, we were screamed and fussed at from all directions. The skies were clouding up and the wind made it almost too cold to enjoy sitting there.  Nacho and I barely spoke as we wolfed down our lunch and chugged a beer. Carolina wanted to bolt again from her stroller, and Elisa was now begging to go back to the playground on the beach.  There was no relaxation or enjoyment of this ocean view. It was chaos. And I was annoyed. 

While I attempted to change Carolina's diaper at the public restroom, Nacho went off to chase Elisa on the beach. And we were both surprised by what came next. I returned to the boardwalk because the changing table inside was so sandy and disgusting. A quick diaper change on a public bench wouldn't be too bad, right? Oh, but there was poop...and I didn't realize it until the wipes were further than an arm's reach away. There was a quick shuffle, a smear on her shoes...the kind of scenario you picture rookie moms having. But no, there I was. And really I would never have changed a poopy one right next to a woman sitting 2 feet away on the other side of the divider. Oh well. I had to carry on, so I did. Meanwhile, Nacho was searching the playground for Elisa only to find out she'd started off to the one farther away without telling us. Yeah, this was heading for a bad ending. We managed to throw Elisa in the stroller while letting Carolina walk as we marched back to the car. There was no more fun for the day--not that we'd had any anyway. What kills me with Elisa is that she's so headstrong and so completely unnerved by charging out on her own. I know our local park only encourages this because she plays out of our view most of the time (and we love that given the safe, enclosed environment). But she doesn't realize that she can't do this out in public. And she didn't listen to our warnings about staying close which upset Nacho and sent me into another tirade as we wrangled her into the car.

Lately there's been so much yelling with her and I hate it. I hate that she doesn't listen. I hate that we are constantly trying to pull her back from the edge of reason.  She can't seem to enjoy what she has and she's always wanting more, more, more.  Or she needs help and she can't just ask, she has to yell and cry for every. fucking. thing. It's exhausting.  And unlike the advice I read, my calm voice does nothing to instill calm and control in her. So I resort to threats and yelling. Taking things away. And mostly that works, but it's such a joykill. I just don't understand why Elisa can't figure out how to have fun without making us all crazy. So our little trip to the edge of Brooklyn wasn't exactly the thrilling day I imagined, but maybe that's okay.  I have to keep at it, or I would stay home all day waiting for Elisa to act better. After nearly 5 years, I know that's not going to happen. It was one of those experiments of trying something new, and it failed. But I got a better lay of the land for Coney Island and we saw a few neighborhoods around Brooklyn with some greenery and great views of the Verrazano Bridge. So maybe we'll be back. But not anytime soon.