Remember when...

A year ago this week, I hit my low point as a new mom. I remember this because it was the first time since Nacho had gone back to work that I had Elisa alone for 2 days. At the time, two days on my own with a colicky, sleepless baby was like walking into a nightmare. I survived the first day on brief periods of sleep (45 min. here, an hour and a half there), but by nightfall on day two, I was done. The insomnia that had settled into my brain prevented me from even dozing while she did and then there were the fits of crying (for both of us), and then time for a feeding and then another...

It was all too much and I didn't know what to do. Luckily, I had a friend living nearby and being able to make that phonecall at 1 am to say, "please come sit with my child" was a lifesaver. It really was. I just couldn't take anymore at that point and being alone and feeling so incapable was the worst feeling in the world. Later I spoke to my mother about all of this and got some much needed perspective. She assured me that it would pass. That in fact, she had endured months of the same sleepless, colicky mess with me as a baby only of course, the screaming was worse. At least Elisa had periods of relative calm, even if they did last from dusk to dawn.
I don't think at that time I could envision life in a year. And now, I'm living it. Elisa wakes sometime between 7:00-8:00 am, and let's me fix breakfast while she relaxes in the living room and downs her bottle. Then she has her yogurt and toast or maybe eggs and waffles if she's nice. We play and dance and maybe head to the park after her first nap. She walks from room to room in our apartment following me or sometimes not, to find a new toy, a new space and then make it her own. Later it's lunchtime and another nap and after that a couple of hours before bedtime to snack and hang out. The spontaneous kisses and playful taunts to pick her up and swing her around are clearly signs of her affection. By 7:30 or 8:00 pm, she's down for the night and then I know the day has been a success. Whether it's day one or day four of a stretch alone, Elisa and I have found our groove together and life is good. It's the comfort of routine and her calmness before bedtime that makes me feel so peaceful at night. I wish there had been a fast forward button a year ago, just to take a peek into this new world. But then again, would I have believed it?

Oktoberfest!

This week with Nacho away from home was a long one, so when Elisa took the opportunity to sleep in til 8:45am this morning, I knew we were in for a great day. Sunnyside hosted an Oktoberfest in the private park this afternoon so we went to check it out and to support some of our friends and local businesses in the craft fair. Elisa tried her best to lift and roll the pumpkins around, and she even found it amusing to sit and bounce on one. Running in to some of our neighborhood friends (with kids!) was a bonus and another reminder that we live in a very special place. All this running around didn't help Elisa take a second nap (she was NOT having it), but we managed to enjoy the rest of the day nonetheless. Fall is here and I'm so happy.

Dancing Queen

This doesn't do it justice, but I had to post the best video so far of Elisa's crazy wiggles. During our beach week, she was all about dancing to her guitar and waving her arms around. The more you sing, the more she moves and grooves. It's pretty funny to watch. We're still figuring out the video feature on our new camera, so please forgive the lack of autofocus. More pics and stories of our week to come.

My little mermaid

We just returned from a great end-0f-summer trip to the beach at Emerald Isle, NC and what a week it was. Elisa is fearless when it comes to the ocean and she only hesitated a moment before attempting to eat a mole crab. Yuck! Here are the best photos of the week with the promise to blog all about it soon...but tonight the bed is calling.

A day at the park

I guess at some point this week I have come to the realization that life again has changed. Elisa is walking and there is no doubt about it. She stumbles and falls, but always gets back up and her distaste for crawling is all too apparent. I guess I knew this time would come, but considering the suddenness with which it's upon us, I can't help but feel a little nostalgic for her babyhood. It's over.

Now she's a toddler and her enthusiasm for all that she can reach and run to and grab is paramount. She loves exploring and greeting people which is on constant display at the park. Today was a nice autumn day with plenty of sun and a cool breeze in the air. Here she is buzzing about without a care in the world. For the first time I found her walking straight ahead, yards and yards away without so much as a glance back at me. Hard to believe a year ago, Nacho and I were two bleary-eyed zombies wandering around the neighborhood with a cute little vampire who nearly tried to eat my soul. Yes, things change. Do they ever.

But even as she changes, there are some things that remain. Her smile and her laugh are still as infectious as always. And in many ways, I feel like I'm only beginning to scratch the surface of her personality. Every day brings a little more...and in another year, I can't wait to see where she's running to next.

My favorite girl

Elisa is my girl. My favorite girl, as I like to call her. She will always be my little girl--even when she's not. I like to tell her that even if I have another little girl someday, she will always be my girl. At least I'm telling her now, before she remembers it and can taunt a little sister with that knowledge. So here she is playing around with me on a rainy old day. She even let me pull her hair back and didn't try to take the rubberband out at all. That's my girl.

Blogging is weird

It's always sort of a surprise to me when someone comments on the blog. Whether by leaving a note or mentioning it to me in conversation or email, I remain stupified that yes, there are people reading this and watching our little videos from time to time. I guess I started this as an extension of my old diary habit (which began with a Hello Kitty diary in 3rd grade), but with an intention to let family and friends in on the life of our little girl. Why then that I'm surprised by any of the attention is a bit strange, but true nonetheless.

Perhaps it's because I read so many other blogs and websites on all sorts of topics and I never really think that I'm part of their world. It's voyeurism pure and simple. My favorite motherhood blog right now is www.dooce.com which the amazing Heather Armstrong writes. I don't know how I only found out about her this year, but she's had the website up and running through both of her pregnancies and has the best way of bringing such truth and candor to all things. And profanity. She is pretty hilarious sometimes. If you want to really enjoy a peek into first time motherhood, go back to her posts around January 2004 and read on. I did and I was crying with laughter and nodding to myself for a good hour today (while Elisa napped, naturally).

I guess the difference between that kind of blog and this (other than the fact that it's national media and Ms. Armstrong is #26 on Forbes most influential people in media list) is that with Elisa, I feel like people who read this are a part of her life because they are seeing and experiencing the same things I am. And even though we may not see them it's nice to know she is a part of their lives as well. My friend Lisa who writes a great blog called Dear Hugh Laurie (I would add a link here, but I have no idea how to do that) just crossed a blogging line by visiting a blogger she reads who lives in Sweden. It was fun to read along as she made it into that virtual world and beyond. Of course, I don't expect any strangers to come over and hang out in Elisa's room with us, but there is something kind of cool about using this medium to share and make connections. Many of my neighborhood mom friends have started or shared their blogs with me after reading about us on Elisa's Baby Blog. I love that it's something others are inspired by or feel moved to read. There are so many choices out there for us to nourish our brains that sometimes I forget to even look at the news because I am so immersed in this virtual playground of blogging.

Since my mom's good friend Karen enjoys reading along on here (and especially our videos), I'll end with this latest clip of Elisa dancing around the room. She's quite a mover and shaker, you know.

Labor Day Weekend

Labor Day is the official "end" of summer in most parts of the country and with the almost fall-like weather here in New York City, it sure felt like things have changed. We opted for a picnic in Central Park and a chance for Elisa to try out her new walking moves in Sheep Meadow. Here are a few pics from our lazy Sunday...

The moment we've all been waiting for...

It started with a few steps in Spain and then suddenly this week, Elisa really took off. She isn't exactly running yet, but each day she tries more and more consecutive steps. Of course, being a multitasker, she has to try to carry things or drink from her bottle while talking and walking as well. Here she is in all her newfound walking glory.

One year, two weeks and counting...

After a year of blogging about this wonderful girl named Elisa, I somehow managed to miss a posting on her actual birthday. But considering that she had been sick for a week, we were leaving for Spain that day and I had to run into the office to tidy up some things before leaving, I guess I'll give myself a break. So, here are some photos of our trip to celebrate Elisa's birthday with the familia.

Elisa's birthday party at Tia Pauli and Tio Ignacio's house in Encinar.
Sitting with Abuela and Papa in Toledo.
Nacho and I celebrating an evening out with the family and our 6th wedding anniversary.
Elisa chugging some sidra at Casa Mingo--my favorite restaurant in Madrid--where the chorizo is divine and the roasted chickens so juicy you have to soak your bread in the plate!
Our last night out walking around the palacio and having a late night of tapas in front of the opera house. It was quite an end to the 2 weeks of fun. More photos to come!